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in Health · March 8, 2019

Building Self Confidence When Chronically Ill

I have been very blessed in that I have always had a very strong sense of self and my value. (I found my 7th grade diary and read that a girl called me ugly, and not only did I laugh it off then and write how wrong she was, I didn’t even remember it 10+ years later.) But being chronically ill has definitely made that difficult over the years. I started experiencing pain at the age of 10, although I wasn’t diagnosed until 9 years later, and those are very formative years for your self-confidence. So today I’m breaking down tips for building self confidence when chronically ill in the hopes that it will help some of you struggling with this.

I am not a medical professional (including a mental health professional). This is my advice after being chronically ill for a very long time.

Chronic pain and illness patient Kate the (Almost) Great shares her tips for building self confidence when chronically ill.

Building Self Confidence When Chronically Ill

Take selfies – I know that this seems silly and narcissistic, but it helps. Take pictures of yourself that you like. Take pictures of yourself dressed up, in sweatpants, looking amazing, looking terrible, it doesn’t matter. Take selfies of you looking completely healthy or even completely ill. Especially when you look ill. You don’t have to embrace being chronically ill or disabled, but being chronically ill isn’t necessarily something you should hide. I know that for me, personally, being ill affects so much of my life that hiding it or pretending it isn’t there feels disingenuous. Sometimes you need a cane, and that’s okay. Take pictures of yourself with your cane; rock it like Selma Blair did at the Vanity Fair Oscar party.

Is chronic illness a disability?

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Feb 24, 2019 at 10:23pm PST

Follow disabled people online – A lot of abled people mean well, but they say ableist things and perpetuate ableist norms. Even if you don’t realize it, it can hurt your self-confidence. Or at the very least, it might not help you build your confidence the same way that following disabled people does. It makes me feel like my feelings and experience are valid. (Asides from learning SO much from following these people.) I personally follow Annie Segarra, Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, Imani Barbarin, Matt Cortland, Rebecca Cokley, Nyle DiMarco, Kirsten Schultz, Eman, and more.

Engage with other chronically ill people on social media – Reach out! Build a network! Talk to people who get what you’re going through and can advise you if you need it. At the very least, it can do wonders to have concrete ideas of what living with chronic illness looks like. Your own understanding of what is “good” or “normal” will change – and that’s a good thing. Even if you don’t realize it, your subconscious might think that living with a chronic illness will only look or live one way. The reality is that we are all different, living similar but different lives, lives that are often different from those of our abled loved ones. So make sure that you see how actual chronically ill people are living, as that will affect your own personal opinion of your own life.

Get fun clothes, accessories, and mobility aides – Embrace your life as it is! Get things that make you happy and are fun. If your illness means you spend a lot of time on the couch, get patterned leggings. If you have to exercise a lot to feel okay, get brightly colored workout clothes. If you use a cane, get a bright one! You get the idea.

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Give yourself a pep talk – This might sound so silly, but giving yourself a pep talk can actually help! If mirrors aren’t something that bother you, face one and pretend that you’re talking to your best friend and pep that friend up. Do this every day or every few days, but I advise doing it multiple times a week. It will feel really ridiculous the first few times, but the act of doing it will help get you in a good mood. It’s kind of like how smiling will trick your brain into happiness.

Make a list of all the things you like about yourself or that you’re good at – Imagine you’re trying to convince someone else that you’re great. Make a list of everything you would use to convince them. Maybe you have a great sense of style, or you always hold the door open for other people, or you admit when you’re wrong about something. I suggest making a physical list, as then you can put it somewhere you’ll regularly see it.

Date yourself – You deserve love and affection, especially from yourself. Go to the movies or out to eat by yourself. Take a book to a coffee shop. Go to a museum. Basically, take yourself out for a date every now and then. Spend some time doing something you enjoy purely for the sake of doing something you enjoy.

How has being chronically ill impacted your self-confidence?

Like this post? Check out:

How Is Chronic Pain Different from Acute Pain?, Chronic Illness and Mental Health, Chronically Ill Tips: Preparing for Medical Appointments + Freebies To Help, 10 Simple Self Care Methods That Will Improve Your Life

Kate Mitchell

Kate Mitchell is a blogger, chronic illness patient, and advocate who helps people understand chronic illness and helps chronic illness patients live their best lives.

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Having decades-long health problems sometimes mean Having decades-long health problems sometimes means coming across something in your health history that you completely forgot about⁣
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Here are some ways I practice self care, aka talki Here are some ways I practice self care, aka talking care of myself AND who I am as a person separate from illness⁣
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This is my Wonderful Things jar. Every day, I write down something wonderful or good that happened that day. ⁣
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I know it looks like I'm forcing Harley to sit like this, but he was making this face before I put my arm around him. Dog snuggle time is the best!⁣
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I got a Kindle this year and it has been amazing. It's so much easier on my body than lugging around books and it makes borrowing from the library a lot easier.⁣
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Yes, I share this all the time, but filling my pill boxes every 3 weeks make it so I stick with all of my medications. But the self-care part of this is that I don't have to take the time to refill a box every single week.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 7+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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3️⃣ A Kindle on dark mode in Kate's lap⁣
4️⃣ 3 open pill cases on a yellow bedspread ⁣
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#AlmostGreatHealth #AlmostGreatLife #SelfCare #ChronicallyIll #ChronicallyAwesome #SpoonieLife #Spoonie #ChronicLife #ButYouDontLookSick #InvisibleIllness #MentalHealthMatters #RetrieversOfInstagram #Readers #Kindle #WonderfulThings #GratitudePractice
What I Bring To the Doctor _______ Video: a pa What I Bring To the Doctor 

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Video: a pan of an exam room. White text reads “What I Bring To the Doctor ” and the “1. Planner/notebook
2. List of current medications 
3. Notes on my biggest concerns and questions 
4. My kindle for wait time” 
The intro to Maroon 5’s Priceless plays. 

#AlmostGreatHealth #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #SjogrensSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis
💃🏼 Week 17 of #2025Weekly 💃🏼⁣
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1️⃣ She’s married!! ⁣
2️⃣ She married the best person in the world for her!!!!!⁣
3️⃣ I got dressed up! ⁣
4️⃣ The reality of doing fun things with chronic illness and pain is that then you have to recover from the fun things. It took … a while. One million percent worth it, but this is why I don’t do big events on a regular basis. ⁣
5️⃣ And then I had to be a person again for an appointment!⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 7+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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1️⃣ Kate stands hugging Emmie. They're both white woman. Emmie is in a wedding dress and Kate is in a red dress and wearing round tortiseshell glasses.⁣
2️⃣ Kate and Emmie stand next to Matt, Emmie's husband. He is a white man.⁣
3️⃣ Kate takes a mirror selfie. she's in the same red dress but now also wears a jean jacket and holds a cane and mask.⁣
4️⃣ Kate takes a selfie while giving a thumbs up. She looks tired. She's now wearing a pink flowery dress. ⁣
5️⃣ Kate takes a mirror selfie. She's wearing black shorts, a gray shirt, a jean jacket, a blue mask, and black aviator sunglasses. She has a bag over her shoulder and holds a cane.⁣
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On the one hand, you should always believe what pe On the one hand, you should always believe what people tell you about their bodies.⁣
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On the other hand, I’ve had so much ridiculous and unconnected health things happen that I do understand why people might not believe me.⁣
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⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate. Follow me for more content for chronic illness patients and their loved ones!⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Last week, I talked about how it surprised me how Last week, I talked about how it surprised me how systemic autoimmune arthritis can be. But something else that surprised me was how much pain can be caused by small things.⁣
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In this picture, I was getting ready to have an MRI on my knee. It has been bothering me a fair amount the last 6+ months, so I'm trying to do something about that. ⁣
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Unsurprisingly, some of the tissue is damaged, but it's not bad. What's probably causing it to bother me so much is a teeny tiny cyst. ⁣
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Baker's cysts are a type of cyst in the knee that are generally caused by arthritis. But having a cyst in my knee means that it's causing pressure on that damaged tissue. ⁣
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The body is a weird thing, and one of these weird things is developing tiny cysts that cause a lot of pain. ⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 7+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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ID: Kate takes a mirror selfie. She's a brunette white woman wearing a hospital gown, scrub bottoms, black mask, round tortoiseshell glasses, and round tortoiseshell glasses. ⁣
🌸 Week 16 of #2025Weekly 🌸 ⁣ ⁣ 1️⃣ S 🌸 Week 16 of #2025Weekly 🌸 ⁣
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1️⃣ Spring has sprung … ⁣
2️⃣ … Which means I am overheating! ⁣
3️⃣ A quick view of NYC on my travels ⁣
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2️⃣ Kate takes a mirror selfie. She's a brunette white woman wearing a blue t-shirt saying "The Future Is Accessible," a black mask, a green hat reading "Facilities Management), black shorts, a black knee sleeve, and a black knee brace. She holds a pink cane.⁣
3️⃣ A picture of the New York City skyline behind a bridge.⁣
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If I met my newly diagnosed self for coffee ... ⁣
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I tell her how things would get worse before they got better. ⁣
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I'd tell her to stop eating gluten, dairy, corn, soy, and eggs immediately (although that would have been a lot harder in 2010, more than it even is now). ⁣
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I'd tell her that she still needs to keep advocating for herself. ⁣
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I'd tell her that having a diagnosis unfortunately doesn't mean everything automatically falls into place. ⁣
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I'd tell her that she'll develop many more illnesses but her quality of life will actually get significantly better. ⁣
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I'd tell her that she would eventually have to get her right foot fixed, although she does expect that.⁣
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I'd tell her that using a cane is not a sign of failure, but a tool to make life better.⁣
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(I did a sort of tongue-in-cheek post about this a while ago and thought I'd post a more serious one).⁣
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⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate. Follow me for more content for chronic illness patients and their loved ones!⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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ID: Kate poses for the camera holding a mug with the letter M on it. Kate is a brunette white woman wearing a blue sweater and round tortoiseshell glasses. A white text box reads "If I met my newly diagnosed self for coffee ...". ⁣
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The thing that surprised me the most about autoimm The thing that surprised me the most about autoimmune arthritis is how systemic it is. ⁣
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Like with most things, it's one thing to know the fact and it's something else to experience it. ⁣
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Yes, my joints are affected (a lot). ⁣
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But I've had enough serious infections thats I have to see an immunologist because we need to be aware of my antibodies and I sometimes need help recovering from illnesses. ⁣
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And, yes, I see pulmonology because of my asthma, but we also have to keep an eye out on developing rheumatoid nodules in my lungs. (So far so good!)⁣
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Not to mention that, when I developed POTS, the hospital admitted me to run every heart test to make sure that, at 26, I wasn't experiencing heart failure. ⁣
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Plus, when I developed endometriosis, I also went through a number of GI tests because one theory was that I had ulcerative colitis. ⁣
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Anyway, RA is so much more than "just" joints. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have to kill my immune system every 3 months like I am in this picture.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 7+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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ID: Kate takes a selfie in an infusion chair. She is a brunette white woman wearing a Boston Red Sox shirt, blue mask, and round tortoiseshell glasses.⁣⁣
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#AlmostGreatHealth #RheumatoidArthritis #RheumatoidDisease #Rheum #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease #InvisibleIllness #ButYouDontLookSick #Sjogrens #SjogrensSyndrome #POTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Dysautonomia
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