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in Health, Uncategorized · February 7, 2014

Oh Just A Little Miscommunication

You may or may not remember the whole doctor saga back in December. Well, almost 2 months after my original appointment, I met with a new rheumatologist yesterday. I honestly couldn’t tell you how the appointment went. There was a lot of crying (which was partially due to my elevated pain levels in the first place – I’m home from work today because I feel/felt so awful). My doctor seems to be incredibly nice, and I think, but need to confirm, that he will let me have my infusions at Vanderbilt in Nashville.

There was a period of about 10-15 minutes, though, when I was convinced that he did not think that I had arthritis and/or didn’t want to treat it. He talked only about improving my fibromyalgia treatment. Obviously I became very, very upset, especially since that was the experience I had with my first rheumatologist from Vanderbilt. My experience with her was why I haven’t had a rheumatologist in Nashville in 2 years.

I finally was able to stop the tears and put my concerns into words. When I brought up that my arthritis treatment was helping me and I wanted to stay on it, he asked me (very kindly), “Why would you think that I wanted you to stop it? I never said that.”

He’s right. He never explicitly spoke the words “I want you to stop your arthritis treatment.” But here are few of the many ways how he did say it:

“Clearly, suppressing your immune system isn’t doing much.” False. It is the only way I was able to finish college and have a job right now.

“It seems like the issue is fibromyalgia.” How else was I supposed to take this?


“Do you really think that the steroids and anti-inflammatory medications are helping?” Again, how else should I have taken this?

I would not have become nearly as upset had he started off the conversation with, “I don’t want to do anything to the arthritis treatment. But I think I can help your current pain by focusing on fibromyalgia.” Or even if he said, “Let’s not stop any of your medications. Maybe we can add another one for fibromyalgia.” Either of these or a variation of it would have made me feel extremely different.

This miscommunication issue can apply to anyone, in any profession, at any time. I’m sure that I have been a perpetrator of it at some point with my students, despite how much I try. Maybe it’s the English major in me, since I spent 4 years writing papers analyzing what authors said and what they said by not saying something. But I feel like it’s important for everyone to practice saying exactly what they mean, and not just half of what they mean.

Anyone else feel like what you don’t say can mean just as much as what you do say, or do I really put too much emphasis on that?

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Previous Post: « The Time I Ended Up Sobbing in a Parking Lot
Next Post: Chronic Pain and God »

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Comments

  1. Jackie says

    February 7, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    it is very tough in the medical profession…communication can make or break relationships, information, etc. It can be an art-form to word things properly, and no matter how hard you try, they still don't come across quite how you meant it. I am sure it goes for other professions as well.

    Reply
  2. Rambling Hermit says

    February 7, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    Plus I feel that they also loose the ability to remember that they are treating a human being with feelings… They become desensitized to it… I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

    Reply
  3. Kate at Green Fashionista says

    February 7, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    I'm sorry this happened, and *fingers crossed* that you can receive your transfusions in Nashville. *Hugs*

    Reply
  4. Chelsea says

    February 8, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    I feel the EXACT same way- I'm definitely an over-analyzer, so what people don't say speaks volumes to me sometimes! I hope your new doctor works out better than your last one!

    Reply

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I’m Kate, a millennial living in New England. I’m a writer and an advocate for people with chronic illnesses. Join me on my journey to greatness!

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1️⃣ TENS unit clipped on my jeans to help my foot and ankle pain ⁣
2️⃣ Wearing sneakers because a) they're the only shoes I can really tolerate b) I have an indoors and an outdoors pair c) I have to wear sneakers/can't go barefoot for long because of my foot and ankle pain ⁣
3️⃣ Leaning on my closet door slightly because it's the only way I can really stay still for pictures ⁣
4️⃣ Wearing glasses because I can't wear contacts due to dry eyes, which is a side effect of many of my medications ⁣
5️⃣ Popsocket on my phone because I really can't keep a grasp on it due to my super arthritic hands ⁣
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[Image: Kate stands in front of a mirror on the inside of her closet door, taking a selfie in the mirror., She's a brunette white woman wearing jeans, a blue-and-white top, and round tortoiseshell glasses. She has a TENS unit clipped to her jeans.]
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You can learn a new skill. ⁣
⁣
You can learn about the world by getting your news from different sources. ⁣
⁣
There are so many ways to learn, and one of the great things about not being in school anymore is that you can learn about whatever you want and whatever interests you. ⁣
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What is something you've learned or learned about? ⁣
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I don't know what to do about that short-term, but it is helpful to know that my long-term goal of moving back to Maine (or at least not living long-term in the city) is in fact something that I will love. ⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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[Image: Kate sits in a gray chair working on a silver laptop. She's a brunette white woman wearing a gray t-shirt, a lighter gray cardigan, and round tortoiseshell glasses. The t-shirt is mostly covered, but the text on it is CureArthritis.org.]
Piper and Harley want to make sure that you're tak Piper and Harley want to make sure that you're taking care of yourself. If you're not, they're not mad, they're disappointed. ⁣
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In all seriousness, if you're struggling right now, that's okay. We're a year into the pandemic life, and it is 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 some days. Piper and Harley want to give you hugs, but they know that they can't jump through Instagram to make that happen. But know that they want to! ⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
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[Image: 2 dogs sit on a brick pathway. The one in front is a red-and-white cavalier King Charles spaniel. The one in the bag is a golden retriever.]
Happy Monday! I'm heading into a hectic week at wo Happy Monday! I'm heading into a hectic week at work, but then I'm taking a long weekend around Easter. Here are some things I do to power through weeks like this: ⁣
▪ Make sure to get a full night's sleep⁣
▪ Drink lots of water ⁣
▪ Take breaks away from the computer⁣
▪ Take all my meds ⁣
▪ Cut myself some slack when I struggle⁣
⁣
What do you do to ensure that you do what you have to while also not pushing yourself into a flare? ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate sits at a white desk typing on a laptop. She's a brunette white woman wearing a blue-and-white striped dress, large brown glasses, a FitBit, and a silver bracelet.]
What spring walks look like these days! With COVID What spring walks look like these days! With COVID-19 still being a big threat - and my immune system is still suppressed! - it's important to keep wearing masks. I'm not vaccinated yet, but even when I do get it, I'll be wearing masks for a while. ⁣
⁣
As you get your vaccine, remember that it takes a few weeks to be vaccinated. I heard that it takes 2-4 weeks after your last shot for your body to do what it needs to do be vaccinated. So don't get the shot and then immediately take your mask off. I know it has been a hard year, but please keep doing the safe behavior that we need for you!⁣
⁣
✨ What does your spring look like? ✨⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣
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◾⁣
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[Image: Kate takes a selfie while sitting on steps outside. She's a brunette white woman wearing a teal t-shirt, a blue popover fleece, a Boston Red Sox hat, round tortoiseshell glasses, and a black mask. Her cavalier King Charles spaniel is sitting with her and looking up at her.]
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✨ VISIBLE SIGNS OF MY "INVISIBLE" DISABILITY ✨ ✨ VISIBLE SIGNS OF MY "INVISIBLE" DISABILITY ✨ ⁣
⁣
1️⃣ TENS unit clipped on my jeans to help my foot and ankle pain ⁣
2️⃣ Wearing sneakers because a) they're the only shoes I can really tolerate b) I have an indoors and an outdoors pair c) I have to wear sneakers/can't go barefoot for long because of my foot and ankle pain ⁣
3️⃣ Leaning on my closet door slightly because it's the only way I can really stay still for pictures ⁣
4️⃣ Wearing glasses because I can't wear contacts due to dry eyes, which is a side effect of many of my medications ⁣
5️⃣ Popsocket on my phone because I really can't keep a grasp on it due to my super arthritic hands ⁣
⁣
These are just some visible signs! Just because you don't see these things doesn't mean they aren't there if you look. Invisible disabilities aren't truly invisible. ⁣
⁣
➡ What are visible signs of your invisible disability? ⬅ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate stands in front of a mirror on the inside of her closet door, taking a selfie in the mirror., She's a brunette white woman wearing jeans, a blue-and-white top, and round tortoiseshell glasses. She has a TENS unit clipped to her jeans.]
Harley and Piper's new album, coming this fall 😂 ⁣
⁣
Comment below with what you think their album would be named if this was the album cover ⬇ ⁣
⁣
📸 @happydogsboston ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
[Image: 2 dogs but from the perspective of down on the ground looking up at them. The dogs are on a brick pathway in Boston and behind them are classic Boston brownstones, trees without leaves, and a cloudy sky. One dog is a red-and-white cavalier King Charles spaniel, and her ears are flying back in the wind. The other is a golden retriever.]
Even once you're done with school, you should neve Even once you're done with school, you should never stop learning. That doesn't mean that you have to take classes! Learning can look however you want. ⁣
⁣
You can take up a new hobby. ⁣
⁣
You can learn a new skill. ⁣
⁣
You can learn about the world by getting your news from different sources. ⁣
⁣
There are so many ways to learn, and one of the great things about not being in school anymore is that you can learn about whatever you want and whatever interests you. ⁣
⁣
What is something you've learned or learned about? ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate sits in a gray chair, facing the camera. She's a brunette white woman wearing black pants, a white sweater, and round tortoiseshell glasses. She's holding an open book. Behind her on the walls are a couple of round mirrors.]
I've been missing rural Maine these days. While I I've been missing rural Maine these days. While I like being able to see people out and about in Boston, spending most of 2020 in rural Maine really reinforced how much my soul prefers country to the city. ⁣
⁣
I don't know what to do about that short-term, but it is helpful to know that my long-term goal of moving back to Maine (or at least not living long-term in the city) is in fact something that I will love. ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Looking at a lake that has a rock-filled "beach" with rocks going out to a point. The other side of the lake is filled with trees.]
Put on a full face of makeup for a small Easter ce Put on a full face of makeup for a small Easter celebration today. This is your reminder that while it's nice to dress up and look nice, celebrating in small ways is just as good as celebrating in big ones. Also, Jesus doesn't want you to risk your health or the health of others to celebrate. ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate takes a selfie. She's a brunette white woman wearing a v-neck ribbed shirt, claddagh necklace, and round tortoiseshell glasses.] ⁣
⁣
#bostonbloggers #bostonian #bostonblogger #proptoit #myunicornlife #makemoments #acolorstory #makeyousmilestyle #liveunscripted #howyouglow #mybeautifulmess #choosejoy #influencehercollective #howiseeit #inspiredwomen #documentyourdays #momentsofmine #myeverydaymagic #darlingdaily #todayslovely #seekmoments #momentslikethese #posttheordinary #thatauthenticfeeling #discoverunder5k #BossGirlBloggers #ChronicIllnessBlogger #bostonma
Like I said on Monday, this has been a busy week. Like I said on Monday, this has been a busy week. But I made it through the week! And you almost have, too. ⁣
⁣
Earlier this week, I published a new blog post with tips for new health bloggers. There are 12 in total! And then today I published a new blog post that is an FAQ for POTS. I'm answering questions that I've gotten a lot in my personal life as well as in my advocate life!⁣
⁣
Check these posts out by clicking the link in my bio or ➡ katethealmostgreat.com. ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate sits in a gray chair working on a silver laptop. She's a brunette white woman wearing a gray t-shirt, a lighter gray cardigan, and round tortoiseshell glasses. The t-shirt is mostly covered, but the text on it is CureArthritis.org.]
Piper and Harley want to make sure that you're tak Piper and Harley want to make sure that you're taking care of yourself. If you're not, they're not mad, they're disappointed. ⁣
⁣
In all seriousness, if you're struggling right now, that's okay. We're a year into the pandemic life, and it is 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 some days. Piper and Harley want to give you hugs, but they know that they can't jump through Instagram to make that happen. But know that they want to! ⁣
⁣
📸 @happydogsboston⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: 2 dogs sit on a brick pathway. The one in front is a red-and-white cavalier King Charles spaniel. The one in the bag is a golden retriever.]
Happy Monday! I'm heading into a hectic week at wo Happy Monday! I'm heading into a hectic week at work, but then I'm taking a long weekend around Easter. Here are some things I do to power through weeks like this: ⁣
▪ Make sure to get a full night's sleep⁣
▪ Drink lots of water ⁣
▪ Take breaks away from the computer⁣
▪ Take all my meds ⁣
▪ Cut myself some slack when I struggle⁣
⁣
What do you do to ensure that you do what you have to while also not pushing yourself into a flare? ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate sits at a white desk typing on a laptop. She's a brunette white woman wearing a blue-and-white striped dress, large brown glasses, a FitBit, and a silver bracelet.]
What spring walks look like these days! With COVID What spring walks look like these days! With COVID-19 still being a big threat - and my immune system is still suppressed! - it's important to keep wearing masks. I'm not vaccinated yet, but even when I do get it, I'll be wearing masks for a while. ⁣
⁣
As you get your vaccine, remember that it takes a few weeks to be vaccinated. I heard that it takes 2-4 weeks after your last shot for your body to do what it needs to do be vaccinated. So don't get the shot and then immediately take your mask off. I know it has been a hard year, but please keep doing the safe behavior that we need for you!⁣
⁣
✨ What does your spring look like? ✨⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate takes a selfie while sitting on steps outside. She's a brunette white woman wearing a teal t-shirt, a blue popover fleece, a Boston Red Sox hat, round tortoiseshell glasses, and a black mask. Her cavalier King Charles spaniel is sitting with her and looking up at her.]
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