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in Health &middot September 8, 2016

Traveling with an Invisible Disability: How To Deal with Rude People

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As I’ve talked about briefly on social media and my trip recap last week, I had some serious issues with employees of the airline and the airport. It boiled down to the fact that I have an invisible disability – emphasis on invisible. The people who I interacted with made it very clear that they didn’t believe there was anything wrong with me and that they thought I was trying to get special privileges like wheelchair delivery around the airport and boarding first. This isn’t the first time that this has happened, although it is the first time that it has been to this extent. Since I’ve dealt with issues like this several times over the course of my life, I feel like I know how to respond, and I want to use these experiences to help people who don’t know what to do if this happens to them.

Traveling with an Invisible Disability: How To Deal with Rude People

Airport or train station employee – Issues like these often involve for the person who calls for a wheelchair, or someone who works for one of the restaurants or stores within the airport. Most likely, an issue you run into will be from the company (airline, train, bus, etc.) themselves. Most likely, if you are in a position to ask for another employee to assist you, do so. If you run into an issue, try to find out who works on the ADA (Americans with Disabilities) compliance and accessibility issues. You can reach out to them and explain what happened and how you would prefer it to go differently. Most likely, they won’t be able to do anything retroactively to help, but just making them aware of what happened will hopefully prevent something similar to happen to someone else in the future.

Airline or bus or train company employee – These are more likely to be prevalent because – at least for flying – the airline employees are the ones that you will deal with most often. For example, when I flew last, I talked to airline employees when I first walked it, when I checked in, when my wheelchair was pushed, when I boarded the plane, on the plane, when I left the plane, and when my wheelchair was pushed to baggage claim. And that’s without counting my layover. So there are many more possibilities that you will directly encounter issues with airline employees than the airport itself.

There are a couple of different things you can do when you have an issue with their employees. 1) Directly ask to talk to or work with another employee. If you, like me, had an issue with the person who pushed your wheelchair, ask for someone else to. 2) File a complaint with the airline/train company/bus company. This gives formal evidence that something happened. Often, these issues come from the fact that these people don’t understand the prevalence of invisible illnesses, so I make a point to explain that. Hopefully this means that eventually there will be training on invisible illnesses and people will understand better.

Traveling with an Invisible Disability: What To Do if an Airline Employee is Rude About Your Disability

Other travelers – This is a little trickier, but also a little better. First of all, you can’t file a complaint against a normal person who is rude. But on the other hand, you can just ignore them. If someone does more than give me a rude look – like says something about they wish that they got special privileges – then I’ll give them the lowdown (with plenty of sass if at all possible, and it is usually possible). I’ll say something like, “Actually, I wish that I didn’t get special privileges because I have an incurable autoimmune disease that is trying to destroy my body, but to each their own!” At the end of the day, though, you can fix them with a look that says, “You’re a rude idiot and I’m glad that you’re not in my life,” and then you can move on. And you can always ignore them, too, but I prefer to make it very clear that they have no idea what they’re talking about, and sometimes I’m not in the mood to be polite about it. ANYWAY. Moving on …

At the end of the day, when it comes down to companies (airline, train station, etc.), they can’t do anything to prevent issues going forward unless they know what happened. Be as specific as possible when you contact them. A potential email might look like, “On [date], I was traveling from [location] to [location] and after I checked in, the person who was called to push my wheelchair told me that I didn’t need a wheelchair. This was hurtful because I have [condition] and while I look fine, I am unable to walk longer distances. Wheelchairs are essential for people like me, whether or not they look disabled or handicapped. In the end I was not denied a wheelchair, but it shouldn’t have been an argument. It was also extremely insulting and unprofessional.”

I hope this helps you, and I also hope that you never run into any issues like I did in the future. If you have, what are your tips for handling a situation like this?

Kate Mitchell

Kate Mitchell is a blogger, chronic illness patient, and advocate who helps people understand chronic illness and helps chronic illness patients live their best lives.

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Comments

  1. Ashley Angle says

    September 8, 2016 at 10:57 am

    This makes me so sad. People are so judgemental. I’m really glad you wrote a post about this because not only is it helpful for people who have an invisible disease, but also those who don’t who need more help understanding.
    Ashley // A Cute Angle // acutelifestyle.blogpsot.com

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  2. Emily of Em Busy Living says

    September 9, 2016 at 7:08 am

    Gosh, I’m sorry this happens to you. Why does anyone care if someone else is passing them in a wheelchair, you know? Is it making their day that much worse that someone is getting pushed instead of walking? Why do people care so much about things that don’t affect them? And seriously, why make a nasty comment about it?

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  3. Alicia says

    September 15, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    I have not experienced any trouble with airline employees,but have experienced attitude and judement other places because of my invisible illness. I love your wording of what you said to someone who judged you. Go you! I have done much the same!

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  1. Things To Do in Ireland for First-Time Visitors | Kate the (Almost) Great says:
    January 11, 2024 at 7:14 am

    […] Traveling with an Invisibility Disability: How To Deal with Rude People, Where To Go in London, HealtheVoices 2019, Fun Things To Do in Boston: A 3-Day Guide […]

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  2. College Tips for Disabled Students | Kate the (Almost) Great says:
    February 15, 2024 at 3:17 pm

    […] Traveling with an Invisible Disability: How To Deal with Rude People, Dating with a Chronic Illness, How To Succeed as a Spoonie Student, How To Succeed in College: Getting Set for a Great Semester […]

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I don’t know the exact date of my RA diagnosis, bu I don’t know the exact date of my RA diagnosis, but this is from right around then in July 2010. ⁣
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When I was diagnosed, I had been having symptoms for 9 years. ⁣
- 9 years of foot pain (partially from tarsal coalition)⁣
- Arthritic damage in said food⁣
- Carpal tunnel off and on for several years⁣
- And more⁣
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I was finally diagnosed because I woke up one morning and was unable to open my jaw more than 8 mm. It turned out that I had horrible arthritic damage to my TMJs, which got me off the waiting list at MGH rheumatology. I left that appointment with an autoimmune arthritis diagnosis. ⁣
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The fact that July is not only my diagnosis anniversary but also Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month has always seemed right. I may not have been diagnosed with JA, but given the amount of arthritis I had along with my many years of symptoms, it's generally accepted that I had it. ⁣
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This year marks 16 years since diagnosis and this fall marks 25 years since my symptoms started. It's pretty weird that so much time has already passed!⁣
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⬛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: Kate at 19 at Fenway Park for a Red Sox game. ⁣
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#RheumatoidArthritis #AutoimmuneDisease #Arthritis #JuvenileArthritis #JRA
Dos and don'ts for when someone in your life is di Dos and don'ts for when someone in your life is diagnosed with autoimmune arthritis! What are some that you would add?⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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⁣⁣⬛⁣⁣⁣
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ID: "So someone you know was diagnosed with Autoimmune Arthritis". Under the Do column (indicated with a green checkmark) is:⁣
"As how they feel about it⁣
Offer specific ways to help⁣
Treat them normally⁣
Ask follow-up questions⁣
Wear a mask around them when sick."⁣
Under the don't don't column (indicated with an x in a red circle) is:⁣
"Say “At least it’s not xyz!”⁣
Say that and not follow through⁣
Assume nothing about their lives has changed⁣
Conflate autoimmune arthritis with osteoarthritis⁣
Pass your cold to an immunosuppressed person".⁣
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#AutoimmuneDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #PsoriaticArthritis #AnkylosingSpondylitis #JuvenileArthritis
Weekj 26 of 2026 Weekly Scenes of a summer week Weekj 26 of 2026 Weekly 

Scenes of a summer week in Maine! So glad I work from home, which means I can work from my real home (Maine, if that wasn’t clear)

1️⃣ Lots of Harley time
2️⃣ Working from home means saving my PTO for fun things!
3️⃣ Lots of duck families (📸 my dad)
4️⃣ What a lot of my days look like - Harley and my current project (needlepoint). And, yes, I’m still in a cast.
5️⃣ Learned how to play Mahjong, which my parents love
6️⃣ Lake views on the 4th

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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IDs:
1️⃣ Harley the golden retriever on a deck as seen through some plants
2️⃣ Kate takes a selfie
3️⃣ A duck with little ducklings following on a lake
4️⃣ Harley coming up to Kate. Her legs are out on an ottoman, 1 foot in a walking cast, and an in-progress needlepoint project
5️⃣ Looking down at a Mahjong table with the game set up
6️⃣ A kayak on the shore of a lake 

#MaineTheWay #MaineSummer #Needlepoint #MaineLife
Living with chronic pain is really hard. You’re wi Living with chronic pain is really hard. You’re winning every day you’re still here.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: The background image is a lake at sunset. Text reads what's above the first square and also "katethealmostgreat".⁣
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#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis
I've been spending a fair amount of time at my foo I've been spending a fair amount of time at my foot surgeon's office this year, and boy has it been messing with my head. ⁣
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I spent a lot of time from 2001-2010 dealing with my left foot. Long story short, it took until this foot surgeon saw me in 2010 after fixing this foot for me to be diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. But I spent those 9 years going from doctor to doctor, having surgery after surgery, trying to figure out what was causing my pain and to fix it. ⁣
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Was it the tarsal coalition? Did I have another chronic health issue? Etc. ⁣
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I spent from age 10 to 19 unsure what exactly was wrong with me and in huge amounts of pain. We thought we figured it out, and then something else happened. ⁣
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We know exactly what is wrong with this foot this time around: in 2024, I got 3 stress fractures, and no one put me in a boot. They almost fully healed before breaking in 2025, and then the same thing happened in 2026. ⁣
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This is a different part of the foot than I used to deal with, but any problems with my feet and especially my left foot messes with me. While this doctor eventually fixed the problems and even got me diagnosed with RA, every time I go back to his office, I have to fight not to become 17 again. ⁣
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PTSD is a bitch.⁣
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(PS - if you want to know why I'm going back to this guy when it messes with me, it's because I don't trust anyone else to fix my foot.)⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: Kate takes a selfie in a doctor's office. ⁣
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#PTSDAwareness #ChronicallyIll #TarsalCoalition #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis
Week 25 of #2026Weekly Happy to be in Maine for Week 25 of #2026Weekly 

Happy to be in Maine for a few weeks! I didn’t get up to a lot, so another week of very few pictures

1️⃣ IVIG 
2️⃣ Lots of beautiful birds have been coming to my mom’s bird feeder!

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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IDs: 
1️⃣ Looking at Kate’s lap. Tubes are coming out from under her shirt and there’s a Kindle
2️⃣ Birds arriving at a bird feeder as seen through a window

#ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness #ChronicPain #IVIG
What do you have to do every day for your chronic What do you have to do every day for your chronic illnesses? ⁣
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For context, I have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, POTS, heart disease, osteoporosis, and more. ⁣
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⬛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: ⁣
Things I Do Every Day for My Chronic Illnesses⁣
Take pills at least 4 times a day⁣
Don’t eat gluten, dairy, corn, soy, or eggs⁣
Sleep 7+ hours a night⁣
Consume 80-100 grams of protein, 120 mg of calcium, 5-10 grams of sodium⁣
Wear a mask whenever I leave the house⁣
Do pilates 4+ days a week⁣
Work from home⁣
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#ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia
Filmed this back in April (hence the sweater) but Filmed this back in April (hence the sweater) but it applies to whenever I have appointments! 

Video: Kate talks to the camera while holding a purse. She holds up individual items mentioned in the video before putting them in the bag. There are captions. 

#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis #ChronicPain
There are a lot of medical advancements that I'm g There are a lot of medical advancements that I'm grateful for, but one of them is the ability to do IVIG at home. ⁣
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I'm on IVIG - or, in my case, subcutaneous immunoglobulin replacement therapy - because I have to kill the better part of my immune system. There are, in fact, some parts of my immune system that don't attack me, which is why we add them back in. This helps reduce my chance of serious infection and also made my rheumatologist feel comfortable enough to increase my Rituxan dose. ⁣
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This is a weekly treatment that I do, but it's so much better that I can do it at home than going into the hospital. It takes around 2.5 hours from taking my pre-meds to tossing my needles into a Sharps container. While it's another thing that I have to do, because I do it at home, I don't have to risk exposure to infections at the hospital or deal with Boston traffic, which would add another hour to the process. ⁣
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I can finish my treatment and then go about my day, which I'm very grateful for.⁣
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⬛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
⁣
⁣⁣⬛⁣⁣⁣
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ID: A Kindle on Kate's legs. There are tubes for an infusion coming out of her shirt.⁣
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#IVIG #ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease
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