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in Health &middot June 30, 2020

What To Do When Chronic Pain Becomes Too Much

Living with chronic pain is so damn difficult. I know that that doesn’t sound surprising, but if you live with it, you know that it’s a good deal worse than it sounds. And at some point, you’re going to hit your breaking point. So today I’m going to give some suggestions for what to do when chronic pain becomes too much. I hope that you don’t ever need this post, but if you do, I hope that this post helps!

As a reminder, I’m not a doctor or someone who has any kind of medical degree. I’m sharing things that I personally do as well as advice from professionals.

Additionally, this post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Kate the (Almost) Great!

In this post, long-time chronic pain patient Kate the (Almost) Great shares what to do when chronic pain becomes too much with advice from her and from experts.

What does “too much” mean? I’m going to address what I do when I’m having a super bad pain day and I’m also going to explain what I do when I’m having a super bad flare, or a bad multi-day or multi-week pain period. Then, I’m going to share what some experts have to say about this. I’m taking “when it becomes too much” as these two meanings: in the moment and when you’ve been dealing with it for a while and you’re at your wit’s end.

How Is Chronic Pain Different from Acute Pain?

What To Do When Chronic Pain Becomes Too Much: What I Do

Cry – This is a in-the-moment suggestion. When it gets to be too much physically, it can also be too much emotionally. It is so exhausting keeping up the mask that hides the pain. And sometimes, it is too much to even keep your head up. Whatever the reason or the type of “too much,” I sometimes cry. It is okay to cry! I hold myself together 99% of the time because I have to in order to get through life. So when it gets to be too much, I cry.

Email my therapist – I see my therapist (or, talk to him now in COVID times) every couple of weeks. In addition to what feels like a zillion illnesses, I also have generalized anxiety disorder. Seeing a therapist helps me deal with it all, but if something especially bad has happened or I’m just having a hard time deal with it all, I email him to see if I can have an appointment sooner than planned. I strongly suggest finding a therapist to help you deal with the emotional side to your chronic pain. It’s not that therapy will improve your pain, but that it will help you live with it. Psychology Today has an awesome tool to help you find a great therapist for you based on your needs, including finding someone who specializes in chronic pain.

What you need to know about living with chronic pain in the winter

Pray – I don’t talk about this a ton because it’s my business and also the Catholic Church as an institution kinda sucks, but I’m Catholic and I try to pray more days than not. I especially do this when I feel bad. One thing I really like about being Catholic is all of the rituals and such that made Calvin and early Protestants consider us pagans. For example, I love praying the Rosary, which is my go-to. It comforts me, and while I believe in God and such, frankly it doesn’t matter to me if praying the Rosary actually does anything for me physically. Just the act of praying it relaxes me.

Binge watch – Sometimes you just have to call it a day and hope things are better tomorrow. AKA, treat your body like it’s an overheating laptop that needs to be turned off and then on again 😉 But in all seriousness, when I have a stand-out-bad pain day, sometimes the only things I can do is watch TV and do what I can to make sure it doesn’t get worse. I’m currently going between Supernatural on Netflix (no, YOU have watched that show more than 6 or 7 times) and Bones on Hulu (also for maybe the 7th time).

Free Medical Symptom Organizer

Nap – One thing that guarantees that I’m going to have a bad pain day is if I sleep for less than 6 hours at night. I really need a minimum of 7 hours, but I’m going to have a bad day if I get less than 6. So if that’s the situation, then a nap will probably make me feel better. Not massively, but even just a bit is appreciated.

Living well with chronic disease during the holiday season

Wear comfortable clothes – Sometimes I have bad pain days so bad that it’s like every atom in my body hurts. On those days, every action is important, every step, every movement. And wearing the wrong clothes can absolutely make things worse.

Get a cortisone injection – This is something that is helpful when you’re dealing with one specific joint that’s causing the most of your pain and it has been increased for weeks. And, of course, when you have a joint condition like a form of arthritis. In those cases, these are extremely helpful. They’re not fun to get in the moment, or for a few days afterwards, but once they kick in and start breaking up the inflammation and/or scar tissue, they’re incredible.

Tools for Pain Management that Aren’t Medications

what to do when chronic pain becomes too much, chronic pain, pain, acute pain, rheumatoid arthritis, RA, rheum, arthritis, autoimmune arthritis, fibro, fibromyalgia, endo, endometriosis, spoonie, spoonie life

What To Do When Chronic Pain Becomes Too Much: What The Experts Suggest

Practice mindfulness – I know what you’re thinking: “Eh tu, Kate?”. And trust me, I’m not happy about including that in this post, either! I hate when doctors and people without medical training suggest this because it feels like they’re ignoring that something is wrong with you causing your pain. But this is something that I do when I’m experiencing truly terrible pain episodes because I will do anything to get out of them. Okay, maybe not anything, but close to it. And my rheumatologist, who I adore, has suggested this kindly to me over the years as there is, annoyingly, data to support it. (He’s very big on data, and I adore him, so I’m trying to listen to him.) As Psychology Today says, “research shows that practicing mindfulness can change your brain to change your pain” (x). I find it easiest to meditate after doing yoga, but when I’m in a bad pain cycle or episode, I don’t feel up for doing yoga, so I’ll do it on my own. You can find guided meditations plenty of places online, and there are also lots of apps that provide guided meditations either as the purpose of the app or as a part of a larger app. Find what works for you!

Talk to your doctor about trigger point injections – My understanding is that this is similar to steroid injections for joints, but these are for muscles. WebMD says, “During this procedure, a healthcare professional, using a small needle, injects a local anesthetic that sometimes includes a steroid into a trigger point (sterile salt water is sometimes injected). With the injection, the trigger point is made inactive and the pain is alleviated” (x). So a steroid might be used for muscles, but I fully admit that I don’t understand how steroids help muscles. Instead of going directly into a joint, “Trigger point injection is used to treat muscle pain in the arms, legs, lower back, and neck. In addition, this approach has been used to treat fibromyalgia, tension headaches, and myofascial pain syndrome” (x). As you might be able to tell, I’ve never had a trigger point injection, while I have had many steroid injections.

Try acupuncture – Back in high school, before I was diagnosed with RA but clearly symptomatic, I tried a whole bunch of non-Western medical treatments. One of which was acupuncture! For me personally, acupuncture did not help my foot and ankle pain (this was before we knew that my foot was effed up and I had bone where there shouldn’t be, a ton of cartilage damage, and a bunch of arthritic damage to the bone) but it did help my ligament and nerve pain caused by carpal tunnel (caused by RA). As WebMD says, “Acupuncture is thought to decrease pain by increasing the release of endorphins, chemicals that block pain … Acupuncture may be useful as an accompanying treatment for many pain-related conditions” (x). This is a treatment that has been around in some form for thousands of years, and there’s a reason for it!

Look into pain rehabilitation centers – I would consider this to be the sort of thing to do if you are at your wit’s end of living with your chronic pain and you are at a point where you need to get your life back on track. I know several people who have gone through the Pain Rehabilitation Center at Mayo Clinic specifically and it has helped them live with their chronic pain massively! I haven’t gone through it personally, although I’ve definitely considered it, but I like knowing that it is there as an option should I get to the point where I need it. The Mayo Clinic has a 3-week program for adults in Florida, Arizona, and Minnesota, and it’s “intended for people whose chronic pain or symptoms interfere with normal functioning and result in significant declines in health, physical and emotional functioning, and quality of life” (x). There is also a pediatric program in Minnesota!

This is by no means an exhaustive list! But it is a start. Overall, what works for one patient isn’t going to work for every patient, especially as there are many different forms and causes of chronic pain. Unfortunately, this often means that we chronic pain patients have to try a lot of things to see what will work for us individually. And, as always, it is important to discuss possible treatments with your doctor so that you don’t try something that is going to make your chronic pain worse.

What do you do when your chronic pain becomes too much?

Like this post? Check out:

Beginner’s Guide: Rheumatoid Arthritis Flare Up, Describing Pain Levels to a Doctor, A Day in the Life of an Arthritis Patient, Why the Traditional Pain Scale Needs To Go

Kate Mitchell

Kate Mitchell is a blogger, chronic illness patient, and advocate who helps people understand chronic illness and helps chronic illness patients live their best lives.

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Comments

  1. Alex says

    July 1, 2020 at 5:21 pm

    These are all excellent and thorough tips. I know for me, my jaw starts to hurt when I have anxiety, but it took me time to learn that! It’s so important to listen to our bodies.

    Alex | adoredbyalex.com

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  2. Kara says

    July 1, 2020 at 6:13 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing these tips. I was in a bad car crash last year and had a neck injury and terrible migraines from the concussion. Physical therapy helped me so much but occasionally I do deal with neck pain and headaches. I’ll keep this handy the next time I’m in pain.

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  3. anna pell says

    July 1, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    I’m so happy I found your site , I’ve been at the breaking point too many times to count . All your suggestions are worthy . I’ve practiced most of these (not the trigger point injections or the acupuncture ….yet) and it does help . I especially practice the comfy clothes wearing 🙂 There are days when wearing anything rough touching my skin is painful. Will you consider writing an article about what to expect from people who don’t understand what living with chronic pain is like ? especially when we tend to look ‘normal’ and function somewhat normally . I’ve tried to be honest when I don’t feel that great, but I also don’t want to be the “Debbie Downer” Putting on the happy face is wearing on me . I’ve been treated for lupus , and fibromyalgia for the past 20 years , steroids for the lupus and prescription NASADS for fibromyalgia . Please keep writing , stay safe and God Bless , Annie

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  4. D says

    December 10, 2020 at 5:26 pm

    These are really generic suggestions that people with chronic pain already do. What a waste of time.

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    • A Nap says

      June 26, 2021 at 4:28 pm

      Ok, it is a BLOG. So, she is responding to a huge range of people with an even more vast range of illness that might cause chronic pain. For individually tailored pain treatment, go she’ll out the bucks to a doctor or therapist, idiot.

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    • Linda henderson says

      April 6, 2022 at 5:58 am

      I would say this is a crock of crap
      I have been in MAJOR PAIN for seven years and counting…… done all of this and it still doesn’t change my situation. I have begged I mean begged the doctor to help me figure out what is wrong and they just ignore me, I am an inconvenience for them! Asked one to be an advocate to help me figure this out and the answer was “ you will not find an advocate here”
      BULL

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  5. Line Bech Nielsen says

    December 19, 2020 at 8:57 pm

    So clearly these when pain becomes too much-days are my everyday. I am not able to nap due to the pain and the good days are the ones where I can binge watch (Australian Masterchef (despite being Danish(, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Modern family are the big ones). And since it’s abdomminal pain/DI, it cannot be soothed by any kind of show. However, I have been really positively surpriced that almost even when it’s absolutely worse and I am barely able to breath and screaming out in pain, I can often find some relief in a meditation where I let myself go into and explore the pain. As you mention, I am very resistant to the whole “It’s all about the mindset” or neglecting the physicality of the pain, but there is just something so relieving about letting you body feel the pain and find some sort of piece with it. Also, my heating pad is life saver. Could I only choose between that and pure morphine (not even taking the side effects into consideration), there is no doubt which has the best effect on my pain. And though I really have to take care and not use it too much since it damages my skin and might cause skin cancer and further damage, when the pain is absolutely unbearable, I let myself turn the heating pad up on full power directly on the skin.

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    • Shirley says

      July 15, 2022 at 12:43 pm

      I agree about heating pad

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  6. Lucie says

    February 14, 2022 at 10:35 pm

    Thanks for sharing. Also agree about the part of wearing comfy clothes.

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  7. Marcie Johnson says

    July 6, 2022 at 1:17 pm

    We write and write in order to distract our minds and know we are not alone. I am thinking about AAA. They have a very successful group. We should start a group similar to theirs. “My name is Joe Blow and I have Fibromyalgia “. I hope this made you laugh and the pain was gone for at least 2 minutes. Stay strong, My friends.

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  8. Karebear Holt says

    October 15, 2023 at 10:43 am

    When I am at my very worst, I have no one to call, come over or help me. My wits end is almost every day now. It’s been 25 years. I think it’s time to call it a day…but no! Every one says live for your family. Why, do they need me like this? Selfish bastards, I’m done

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Dos and don'ts for when someone in your life is di Dos and don'ts for when someone in your life is diagnosed with autoimmune arthritis! What are some that you would add?⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: "So someone you know was diagnosed with Autoimmune Arthritis". Under the Do column (indicated with a green checkmark) is:⁣
"As how they feel about it⁣
Offer specific ways to help⁣
Treat them normally⁣
Ask follow-up questions⁣
Wear a mask around them when sick."⁣
Under the don't don't column (indicated with an x in a red circle) is:⁣
"Say “At least it’s not xyz!”⁣
Say that and not follow through⁣
Assume nothing about their lives has changed⁣
Conflate autoimmune arthritis with osteoarthritis⁣
Pass your cold to an immunosuppressed person".⁣
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#AutoimmuneDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #PsoriaticArthritis #AnkylosingSpondylitis #JuvenileArthritis
Weekj 26 of 2026 Weekly Scenes of a summer week Weekj 26 of 2026 Weekly 

Scenes of a summer week in Maine! So glad I work from home, which means I can work from my real home (Maine, if that wasn’t clear)

1️⃣ Lots of Harley time
2️⃣ Working from home means saving my PTO for fun things!
3️⃣ Lots of duck families (📸 my dad)
4️⃣ What a lot of my days look like - Harley and my current project (needlepoint). And, yes, I’m still in a cast.
5️⃣ Learned how to play Mahjong, which my parents love
6️⃣ Lake views on the 4th

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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IDs:
1️⃣ Harley the golden retriever on a deck as seen through some plants
2️⃣ Kate takes a selfie
3️⃣ A duck with little ducklings following on a lake
4️⃣ Harley coming up to Kate. Her legs are out on an ottoman, 1 foot in a walking cast, and an in-progress needlepoint project
5️⃣ Looking down at a Mahjong table with the game set up
6️⃣ A kayak on the shore of a lake 

#MaineTheWay #MaineSummer #Needlepoint #MaineLife
Living with chronic pain is really hard. You’re wi Living with chronic pain is really hard. You’re winning every day you’re still here.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: The background image is a lake at sunset. Text reads what's above the first square and also "katethealmostgreat".⁣
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#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis
I've been spending a fair amount of time at my foo I've been spending a fair amount of time at my foot surgeon's office this year, and boy has it been messing with my head. ⁣
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I spent a lot of time from 2001-2010 dealing with my left foot. Long story short, it took until this foot surgeon saw me in 2010 after fixing this foot for me to be diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. But I spent those 9 years going from doctor to doctor, having surgery after surgery, trying to figure out what was causing my pain and to fix it. ⁣
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Was it the tarsal coalition? Did I have another chronic health issue? Etc. ⁣
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I spent from age 10 to 19 unsure what exactly was wrong with me and in huge amounts of pain. We thought we figured it out, and then something else happened. ⁣
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We know exactly what is wrong with this foot this time around: in 2024, I got 3 stress fractures, and no one put me in a boot. They almost fully healed before breaking in 2025, and then the same thing happened in 2026. ⁣
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This is a different part of the foot than I used to deal with, but any problems with my feet and especially my left foot messes with me. While this doctor eventually fixed the problems and even got me diagnosed with RA, every time I go back to his office, I have to fight not to become 17 again. ⁣
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PTSD is a bitch.⁣
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(PS - if you want to know why I'm going back to this guy when it messes with me, it's because I don't trust anyone else to fix my foot.)⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: Kate takes a selfie in a doctor's office. ⁣
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#PTSDAwareness #ChronicallyIll #TarsalCoalition #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis
Week 25 of #2026Weekly Happy to be in Maine for Week 25 of #2026Weekly 

Happy to be in Maine for a few weeks! I didn’t get up to a lot, so another week of very few pictures

1️⃣ IVIG 
2️⃣ Lots of beautiful birds have been coming to my mom’s bird feeder!

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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IDs: 
1️⃣ Looking at Kate’s lap. Tubes are coming out from under her shirt and there’s a Kindle
2️⃣ Birds arriving at a bird feeder as seen through a window

#ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness #ChronicPain #IVIG
What do you have to do every day for your chronic What do you have to do every day for your chronic illnesses? ⁣
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For context, I have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, POTS, heart disease, osteoporosis, and more. ⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: ⁣
Things I Do Every Day for My Chronic Illnesses⁣
Take pills at least 4 times a day⁣
Don’t eat gluten, dairy, corn, soy, or eggs⁣
Sleep 7+ hours a night⁣
Consume 80-100 grams of protein, 120 mg of calcium, 5-10 grams of sodium⁣
Wear a mask whenever I leave the house⁣
Do pilates 4+ days a week⁣
Work from home⁣
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#ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia
Filmed this back in April (hence the sweater) but Filmed this back in April (hence the sweater) but it applies to whenever I have appointments! 

Video: Kate talks to the camera while holding a purse. She holds up individual items mentioned in the video before putting them in the bag. There are captions. 

#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis #ChronicPain
There are a lot of medical advancements that I'm g There are a lot of medical advancements that I'm grateful for, but one of them is the ability to do IVIG at home. ⁣
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I'm on IVIG - or, in my case, subcutaneous immunoglobulin replacement therapy - because I have to kill the better part of my immune system. There are, in fact, some parts of my immune system that don't attack me, which is why we add them back in. This helps reduce my chance of serious infection and also made my rheumatologist feel comfortable enough to increase my Rituxan dose. ⁣
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This is a weekly treatment that I do, but it's so much better that I can do it at home than going into the hospital. It takes around 2.5 hours from taking my pre-meds to tossing my needles into a Sharps container. While it's another thing that I have to do, because I do it at home, I don't have to risk exposure to infections at the hospital or deal with Boston traffic, which would add another hour to the process. ⁣
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I can finish my treatment and then go about my day, which I'm very grateful for.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: A Kindle on Kate's legs. There are tubes for an infusion coming out of her shirt.⁣
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#IVIG #ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease
Weeks 23 and 24 of 2026 Weekly! The last two wee Weeks 23 and 24 of 2026 Weekly! 

The last two weeks were prepping for my infusion, having/recovering from my infusion, and getting caught up after. This meant things were very busy but also I don’t have a lot to show for them. 

1️⃣ New glasses! I really like having multiple pairs so I can switch them as I want.
2️⃣ One of my current projects. I got this standing hoop for my birthday and I’m working on an alphabet (uppercase and lower, although I’m still working on the lower) with extra floss.
3️⃣ Infusion time! I got my higher dose so hopefully my symptoms improve a lot in the upcoming weeks🤞🏻

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣

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IDs: 
1️⃣ Kate takes a selfie. Her new glasses are thin silver circles
2️⃣ An in-progress cross-stitched alphabet in a special hoop stand that Kate is sitting on.
3️⃣ Kate takes a selfie in an infusion chair.

#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #AutoimmuneDisease #CrossStitcher
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