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Currently, I’m …
reading … Anne Boleyn, A King’s Obsession and White Fragility – I’ve always been fascinated by Anne Boleyn, so when I saw that Alison Weir wrote a historical fiction novel about her, I bought it immediately. It took me a while to finish it because of The Fiasco, but it’s so good. I disagree a little with the choices Weir made as a historian and a writer (I don’t think Anne tortured her step-daughter, Mary, as much as she did in the book because our only first-hand account is from someone biased toward Mary) but it was enjoyable.
I’ve also been reading White Fragility for a book club! “Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent any meaningful cross-racial dialogue” (x). It’s super fascinating and I highly recommend it.
feeling … sicker than I would like, nervous about the next few weeks and months, and excited for the Superbowl – I’m a bundle of feelings! On the one hand, my Patriots are in the Superbowl this weekend. Yay! On the other hand, I really wish I was more recovered from The Fiasco. I am recovering, but I feel very much like I have/had multiple infections. And then, because my RA medications are immunosuppressants, I can’t take my arthritis meds or I’ll never recover. This means that my RA is running wild and I’m feeling it. All the joints that usually bother me are doing so, as well as many other joints that are sneaking themselves in there. I’ll be off of these for at least another month, but then once I start them again, it can take up to two or three months for them to start working. As you can imagine, I’m pretty nervous about my quality of life during this time.
watching … CSI: Miami, standup videos on YouTube, Outlander, The West Wing – As I’m not feeling great, I’ve been watching more TV. I’m rewatching CSI: Miami and The West Wing, which is probably my favorite show of all time. I’ve also been watching videos of standup comedians on YouTube because I need to laugh; feeling crappier than usual all the time for two months can bring you down. I’m trying to avoid comedians that are straight cis white men because I’ve watched enough of them and a) a lot of them aren’t funny and b) they’re more likely to make jokes that are racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, or some combination thereof. So if you have recommendations of comedians who aren’t straight cis white men, send them my way! I’ve also been watching Outlander, as the fourth season ended this past weekend. I love this show, but I wish they made fewer changes from the book. Especially because a lot of the changes had no reason for them.
hoping for … no more infections and my next infusion to be ASAP – I’m so nervous about getting sick and healing from being sick. And it doesn’t help that it’s flu season! But in regards to The Fiasco, in a few weeks I go back for another CT scan to see how my insides are doing, and hopefully there will be no more infections. At my last one, there was still some fluid in my abdominal cavity, as well as inflammation on my kidneys, both of which were/are infected. I’m really hoping that all will be good at that time! Which will hopefully also mean I can go back on my arthritis meds, including my infusion. Because my arthritis meds are how I got into this mess (as described above), I don’t want to go back on them any sooner than I’m okay to do so, but I’m also pretty miserable. But if my CT scan shows that all is good, I can get on the schedule for my infusion. That might mean that I can’t having my infusion until March or April depending on availability, and then it takes at least 3 weeks before I feel better. So cross your fingers for me!
wearing … high-waisted pants, sweatpants, and sweaters galore – Due to the location of my abdominal surgery, pants can be painful, so I’ve been wearing sweatpants or high-waisted pants, if I’ve been up for them. I’ve been especially wearing AG’s “The Prima” Mid-Rise Cigarette Skinny Jeans, which are high-rise on me because I’m short, and they’re so soft. They’re more like jeggings than anything else. I’ve also been wearing these pants from Madewell, which are similarly comfortable. And, of course, SWEATERS. January in Massachusetts means sweater weather. I’ve been loving this pink v-neck from J. Crew!
thankful for … my medical team and my family – No matter how frustrating it is to heal this slowly, I’m so thankful for my amazing medical team. I probably wouldn’t be alive today if I had lesser doctors. And my family have been SUCH a huge help. If I didn’t have their help, I would be so much more stressed, and that would quite literally make my health worse.
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