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in Health &middot March 4, 2016

4 Questions To Ask Before Sending Medical Advice on the Internet

One of the most common things that happens on social media and this blog because I’m so open about my health issues is that I am contacted at least once a week (if not more) by someone with a random treatment option for my arthritis. 99% of the time, this is someone who knows absolutely nothing about my health issues and clearly they know very little about autoimmune arthritis, as well. If you are one of those people who sends messages like that, this is for you. We need to talk about sending medical advice when you are not a medical professional who has examined whoever you’re talking to. Before you send some, ask yourself these four questions.

4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Giving Unsolicited Medical Advice

First of all, how well do you know this person and their health issues? If you don’t know them at all, if you’ve never had a conversation with them, if you only know them from the Internet or you hardly know them, do not suggest any treatment. Especially do not suggest anything if you don’t know their health issue all that well. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times someone who only knows the surface of my health issues suggest that I treat a specific treatment. If you are a close friend or family member of the person you’re talking to, or if you have the same health issue, then it might be okay to talk about their health and the treatments they’ve tried. Might be. Everyone is different when it comes to this. 

Second, why do you feel the need to send this? Are you trying to sell them something? Stop. Don’t do it. My health problems are not your way to make money or get website traffic. Are you concerned that they’re not doing enough to feel better? Keep your opinions to yourself unless you are a part of the personal conversation about treatment options, which is something that must be initiated by the person with the health issue. You probably only know half of what is going and has gone on in their health journey. For example, when people other than the medical professionals I see suggest medical treatments to me, it is either something I have already tried and hasn’t worked or isn’t something that works for people with my very specific health problems. And that brings up something else – if you are not a medical professional who has examined the individual you’re talking to, you shouldn’t be suggesting treatment options unless they are asked for.

A Guide to Chronic Illness for Those Who Don’t Have One

[bctt tweet=”Unless you are a medical professional asked for medical advice, you shouldn’t send some to random people on the Internet.”]

Third, how much do you know about whatever their health issue is? This is a bit trickier because you might think you know a lot when you actually don’t. But let’s break this down, using myself as an example because that’s less confusing than a hypothetical. If I talk about pain from my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and you want to comment for some reason, ask yourself how much you know about both of these conditions separately. When you see “rheumatoid arthritis,” do you know what that illness is? It’s incredibly different from osteoarthritis, by the way. When you see “fibromyalgia,” do you know what that illness is? If the only part of these two conditions you understand is “arthritis,” do some research before suggesting anything. Also, let’s say that you know a lot about these two conditions – what do you know about my personal health history? Have you read about how I’ve been in pain since fall 2001? Even if you have read all of these different posts about my health, you don’t know every single thing I’ve been through or tried to improve my health because I don’t share everything online. Why would you give medical advice that doesn’t apply? So before you send someone medical advice, ask yourself how much you know about their condition AND their personal health experience. Every patient is different.

Finally, do you understand what message this sends to the person you contacted? Let’s say you’re talking to someone you know – like a friend or coworker – and you ask, “Have you tried [insert random treatment here] to feel better?” In that case, you’re basically saying, “I don’t think you’re trying hard enough to feel better. If you really were, you’d try this treatment that I, a layperson with zero medical education, have suggested.” Because let me tell you something: one of the first things you do when you’re diagnosed is turn to Google to find out everything you can. And if you’re talking to someone who has been diagnosed for years and years, they know more about the treatments out there than you do. Let’s say that you’re talking to a stranger on the Internet and send a message saying, “Have you tried [insert random treatment here]?” Here you’re saying, “I don’t care enough to find out what you’ve tried or what your medical history is. However, if you don’t try what I’ve suggested, then you’re settling for a life of pain/health issues and all future health issues are your own fault.” (Fun fact, someone actually commented a blog post of mine saying that I’m settling for a life of pain because I’m not trying hard enough to get better. To say that I’m still livid over that is an understatement.) Messages and comments from people suggesting random treatments really upset me because, as you can see here, the moral for all of them is pretty much that I’m not trying hard enough to feel better. This is true for conventional medical treatments as well as alternative ones.

[bctt tweet=”4 questions to ask yourself before sharing medical advice with people who haven’t asked for it”]

PS – If you haven’t, check out my post The 8 Things a Millennial with Arthritis Wants You To Know. It might help you understand where I’m coming from in this post.

Like this post? Check out: 

10 Things I Wish I Knew When I Received My Rheumatoid Arthritis Diagnosis, Questions Not To Ask Someone with a Chronic Illness, What Abled People Need To Know about Disability, So Someone You Know Was Diagnosed with Inflammatory Arthritis

chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic condition, helping someone with a chronic illness, helping someone with chronic pain
Kate Mitchell

Kate Mitchell is a blogger, chronic illness patient, and advocate who helps people understand chronic illness and helps chronic illness patients live their best lives.

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Comments

  1. Cherish. says

    March 4, 2016 at 9:18 am

    Yes!! I just tweeted this but bravo for getting this out there, Kate!!

    I’m a medical student so although it may seem like I know a lot (to those who weren’t crazy enough to go this route), I know that I am by no means an expert. Therefore, I keep my mouth shut. I really like your blog because it’s so educational (and I personally LOVE getting to know what other people face and how they handle it).

    I mean, there are times my friends will ask for a diagnosis but I ALWAYS remind them that they need to see their doctor, who IS an expert on their health. If it doesn’t seem like it’s an emergency I might ask more questions to narrow my “diagnosis”, but it’s moreso the practice of “thinking like a clinician” and I ALWAYS let them know that.

    It’s important for people to recognize the boundaries of their knowledge and to not overstep it. While you take unsolicited advice (which I totally agree can be off-putting) with a grain of salt, there are others that will trust nearly anything if a person presents it with enough confidence and bravado.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:49 pm

      Thank you! I do want to clarify, though, that I don’t take unsolicited advice with a grain of salt. I don’t listen to it at all. It isn’t just off-putting – it’s insulting and unnecessary, and often it upsets me, too. It’s especially upsetting when I’m making a point about one aspect of my health and someone comments and wants to give me advice. For example, I recently wrote about treating people with chronic pain like addicts if they’re on opioids. Someone commented on a link to it on social media asking if I’d tried medical marijuana. It seems like an innocent question, but it ignores the point I’m trying to make and my personal experiences. It may not seem like much, but it hits me rather hard.

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  2. Emily of Em Busy Living says

    March 4, 2016 at 10:47 am

    Good to you for this post. Unsolicited advice, over any topic, is always really frustrating. I think your fourth point can be used on a variety of topics, where the advice-giver always seems to make you feel like you must not be trying enough with whatever it is you’re doing. I hate that.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      Thank you!

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  3. Becca Dorr says

    March 4, 2016 at 11:00 am

    During infertility treatments, I got a lot of this, and some of the “advice” was completely ridiculous. Why wouldn’t I try EVERYTHING (minus some bogus methods) before resorting to IVF?

    The only medical advice I give out (usually to people I know fairly well) unsolicited is to drink water. Because as I understand it, the cause of most headaches and general “blah” feelings in healthy people is dehydration.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      Yes! Drinking lots of water is GREAT advice and if you’re going to give any out, that’s the best.

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  4. Brita Long says

    March 4, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Yes yes yes! I have Crohn’s Disease, and I wrote my own version of this post last year. I was diagnosed over 20 years ago. I know a LOT about IBD. And yet people keep trying to “cure” me with dietary changes. Um, I eliminated gluten and dairy from my diet 15 years ago, thanks, and it did diddly squat for my condition. Which if you knew me well enough to comment on my health, you would know that I did that.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      Yes! That’s the most frustrating.

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  1. 4 Questions To Ask Before Sending Medical Advice on the Internet – Chronically Something says:
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  2. So Someone Healthy Has Given You Health Advice | Health Lifestyle says:
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  3. A Guide to Chronic Illness for Those Who Don't Have One - Kate the (Almost) Great says:
    February 15, 2024 at 3:25 pm

    […] 4 Questions To Ask Before Sending Medical Advice on the Internet – One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sends me unsolicited medical advice online. Don’t! Do! It! I explain why it annoys me in this post, including as said in the title, 4 questions to ask yourself before you do this. […]

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Dos and don'ts for when someone in your life is di Dos and don'ts for when someone in your life is diagnosed with autoimmune arthritis! What are some that you would add?⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: "So someone you know was diagnosed with Autoimmune Arthritis". Under the Do column (indicated with a green checkmark) is:⁣
"As how they feel about it⁣
Offer specific ways to help⁣
Treat them normally⁣
Ask follow-up questions⁣
Wear a mask around them when sick."⁣
Under the don't don't column (indicated with an x in a red circle) is:⁣
"Say “At least it’s not xyz!”⁣
Say that and not follow through⁣
Assume nothing about their lives has changed⁣
Conflate autoimmune arthritis with osteoarthritis⁣
Pass your cold to an immunosuppressed person".⁣
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#AutoimmuneDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #PsoriaticArthritis #AnkylosingSpondylitis #JuvenileArthritis
Weekj 26 of 2026 Weekly Scenes of a summer week Weekj 26 of 2026 Weekly 

Scenes of a summer week in Maine! So glad I work from home, which means I can work from my real home (Maine, if that wasn’t clear)

1️⃣ Lots of Harley time
2️⃣ Working from home means saving my PTO for fun things!
3️⃣ Lots of duck families (📸 my dad)
4️⃣ What a lot of my days look like - Harley and my current project (needlepoint). And, yes, I’m still in a cast.
5️⃣ Learned how to play Mahjong, which my parents love
6️⃣ Lake views on the 4th

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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IDs:
1️⃣ Harley the golden retriever on a deck as seen through some plants
2️⃣ Kate takes a selfie
3️⃣ A duck with little ducklings following on a lake
4️⃣ Harley coming up to Kate. Her legs are out on an ottoman, 1 foot in a walking cast, and an in-progress needlepoint project
5️⃣ Looking down at a Mahjong table with the game set up
6️⃣ A kayak on the shore of a lake 

#MaineTheWay #MaineSummer #Needlepoint #MaineLife
Living with chronic pain is really hard. You’re wi Living with chronic pain is really hard. You’re winning every day you’re still here.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: The background image is a lake at sunset. Text reads what's above the first square and also "katethealmostgreat".⁣
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I've been spending a fair amount of time at my foo I've been spending a fair amount of time at my foot surgeon's office this year, and boy has it been messing with my head. ⁣
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I spent a lot of time from 2001-2010 dealing with my left foot. Long story short, it took until this foot surgeon saw me in 2010 after fixing this foot for me to be diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. But I spent those 9 years going from doctor to doctor, having surgery after surgery, trying to figure out what was causing my pain and to fix it. ⁣
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Was it the tarsal coalition? Did I have another chronic health issue? Etc. ⁣
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I spent from age 10 to 19 unsure what exactly was wrong with me and in huge amounts of pain. We thought we figured it out, and then something else happened. ⁣
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We know exactly what is wrong with this foot this time around: in 2024, I got 3 stress fractures, and no one put me in a boot. They almost fully healed before breaking in 2025, and then the same thing happened in 2026. ⁣
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This is a different part of the foot than I used to deal with, but any problems with my feet and especially my left foot messes with me. While this doctor eventually fixed the problems and even got me diagnosed with RA, every time I go back to his office, I have to fight not to become 17 again. ⁣
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PTSD is a bitch.⁣
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(PS - if you want to know why I'm going back to this guy when it messes with me, it's because I don't trust anyone else to fix my foot.)⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: Kate takes a selfie in a doctor's office. ⁣
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#PTSDAwareness #ChronicallyIll #TarsalCoalition #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis
Week 25 of #2026Weekly Happy to be in Maine for Week 25 of #2026Weekly 

Happy to be in Maine for a few weeks! I didn’t get up to a lot, so another week of very few pictures

1️⃣ IVIG 
2️⃣ Lots of beautiful birds have been coming to my mom’s bird feeder!

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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IDs: 
1️⃣ Looking at Kate’s lap. Tubes are coming out from under her shirt and there’s a Kindle
2️⃣ Birds arriving at a bird feeder as seen through a window

#ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness #ChronicPain #IVIG
What do you have to do every day for your chronic What do you have to do every day for your chronic illnesses? ⁣
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For context, I have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, POTS, heart disease, osteoporosis, and more. ⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: ⁣
Things I Do Every Day for My Chronic Illnesses⁣
Take pills at least 4 times a day⁣
Don’t eat gluten, dairy, corn, soy, or eggs⁣
Sleep 7+ hours a night⁣
Consume 80-100 grams of protein, 120 mg of calcium, 5-10 grams of sodium⁣
Wear a mask whenever I leave the house⁣
Do pilates 4+ days a week⁣
Work from home⁣
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#ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia
Filmed this back in April (hence the sweater) but Filmed this back in April (hence the sweater) but it applies to whenever I have appointments! 

Video: Kate talks to the camera while holding a purse. She holds up individual items mentioned in the video before putting them in the bag. There are captions. 

#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis #ChronicPain
There are a lot of medical advancements that I'm g There are a lot of medical advancements that I'm grateful for, but one of them is the ability to do IVIG at home. ⁣
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I'm on IVIG - or, in my case, subcutaneous immunoglobulin replacement therapy - because I have to kill the better part of my immune system. There are, in fact, some parts of my immune system that don't attack me, which is why we add them back in. This helps reduce my chance of serious infection and also made my rheumatologist feel comfortable enough to increase my Rituxan dose. ⁣
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This is a weekly treatment that I do, but it's so much better that I can do it at home than going into the hospital. It takes around 2.5 hours from taking my pre-meds to tossing my needles into a Sharps container. While it's another thing that I have to do, because I do it at home, I don't have to risk exposure to infections at the hospital or deal with Boston traffic, which would add another hour to the process. ⁣
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I can finish my treatment and then go about my day, which I'm very grateful for.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: A Kindle on Kate's legs. There are tubes for an infusion coming out of her shirt.⁣
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#IVIG #ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease
Weeks 23 and 24 of 2026 Weekly! The last two wee Weeks 23 and 24 of 2026 Weekly! 

The last two weeks were prepping for my infusion, having/recovering from my infusion, and getting caught up after. This meant things were very busy but also I don’t have a lot to show for them. 

1️⃣ New glasses! I really like having multiple pairs so I can switch them as I want.
2️⃣ One of my current projects. I got this standing hoop for my birthday and I’m working on an alphabet (uppercase and lower, although I’m still working on the lower) with extra floss.
3️⃣ Infusion time! I got my higher dose so hopefully my symptoms improve a lot in the upcoming weeks🤞🏻

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣⁣

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IDs: 
1️⃣ Kate takes a selfie. Her new glasses are thin silver circles
2️⃣ An in-progress cross-stitched alphabet in a special hoop stand that Kate is sitting on.
3️⃣ Kate takes a selfie in an infusion chair.

#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #AutoimmuneDisease #CrossStitcher
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