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in Health &middot March 4, 2016

4 Questions To Ask Before Sending Medical Advice on the Internet

One of the most common things that happens on social media and this blog because I’m so open about my health issues is that I am contacted at least once a week (if not more) by someone with a random treatment option for my arthritis. 99% of the time, this is someone who knows absolutely nothing about my health issues and clearly they know very little about autoimmune arthritis, as well. If you are one of those people who sends messages like that, this is for you. We need to talk about sending medical advice when you are not a medical professional who has examined whoever you’re talking to. Before you send some, ask yourself these four questions.

4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Giving Unsolicited Medical Advice

First of all, how well do you know this person and their health issues? If you don’t know them at all, if you’ve never had a conversation with them, if you only know them from the Internet or you hardly know them, do not suggest any treatment. Especially do not suggest anything if you don’t know their health issue all that well. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times someone who only knows the surface of my health issues suggest that I treat a specific treatment. If you are a close friend or family member of the person you’re talking to, or if you have the same health issue, then it might be okay to talk about their health and the treatments they’ve tried. Might be. Everyone is different when it comes to this. 

Second, why do you feel the need to send this? Are you trying to sell them something? Stop. Don’t do it. My health problems are not your way to make money or get website traffic. Are you concerned that they’re not doing enough to feel better? Keep your opinions to yourself unless you are a part of the personal conversation about treatment options, which is something that must be initiated by the person with the health issue. You probably only know half of what is going and has gone on in their health journey. For example, when people other than the medical professionals I see suggest medical treatments to me, it is either something I have already tried and hasn’t worked or isn’t something that works for people with my very specific health problems. And that brings up something else – if you are not a medical professional who has examined the individual you’re talking to, you shouldn’t be suggesting treatment options unless they are asked for.

A Guide to Chronic Illness for Those Who Don’t Have One

[bctt tweet=”Unless you are a medical professional asked for medical advice, you shouldn’t send some to random people on the Internet.”]

Third, how much do you know about whatever their health issue is? This is a bit trickier because you might think you know a lot when you actually don’t. But let’s break this down, using myself as an example because that’s less confusing than a hypothetical. If I talk about pain from my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and you want to comment for some reason, ask yourself how much you know about both of these conditions separately. When you see “rheumatoid arthritis,” do you know what that illness is? It’s incredibly different from osteoarthritis, by the way. When you see “fibromyalgia,” do you know what that illness is? If the only part of these two conditions you understand is “arthritis,” do some research before suggesting anything. Also, let’s say that you know a lot about these two conditions – what do you know about my personal health history? Have you read about how I’ve been in pain since fall 2001? Even if you have read all of these different posts about my health, you don’t know every single thing I’ve been through or tried to improve my health because I don’t share everything online. Why would you give medical advice that doesn’t apply? So before you send someone medical advice, ask yourself how much you know about their condition AND their personal health experience. Every patient is different.

Finally, do you understand what message this sends to the person you contacted? Let’s say you’re talking to someone you know – like a friend or coworker – and you ask, “Have you tried [insert random treatment here] to feel better?” In that case, you’re basically saying, “I don’t think you’re trying hard enough to feel better. If you really were, you’d try this treatment that I, a layperson with zero medical education, have suggested.” Because let me tell you something: one of the first things you do when you’re diagnosed is turn to Google to find out everything you can. And if you’re talking to someone who has been diagnosed for years and years, they know more about the treatments out there than you do. Let’s say that you’re talking to a stranger on the Internet and send a message saying, “Have you tried [insert random treatment here]?” Here you’re saying, “I don’t care enough to find out what you’ve tried or what your medical history is. However, if you don’t try what I’ve suggested, then you’re settling for a life of pain/health issues and all future health issues are your own fault.” (Fun fact, someone actually commented a blog post of mine saying that I’m settling for a life of pain because I’m not trying hard enough to get better. To say that I’m still livid over that is an understatement.) Messages and comments from people suggesting random treatments really upset me because, as you can see here, the moral for all of them is pretty much that I’m not trying hard enough to feel better. This is true for conventional medical treatments as well as alternative ones.

[bctt tweet=”4 questions to ask yourself before sharing medical advice with people who haven’t asked for it”]

PS – If you haven’t, check out my post The 8 Things a Millennial with Arthritis Wants You To Know. It might help you understand where I’m coming from in this post.

Like this post? Check out: 

10 Things I Wish I Knew When I Received My Rheumatoid Arthritis Diagnosis, Questions Not To Ask Someone with a Chronic Illness, What Abled People Need To Know about Disability, So Someone You Know Was Diagnosed with Inflammatory Arthritis

chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic condition, helping someone with a chronic illness, helping someone with chronic pain
Kate Mitchell

Kate Mitchell is a blogger, chronic illness patient, and advocate who helps people understand chronic illness and helps chronic illness patients live their best lives.

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Comments

  1. Cherish. says

    March 4, 2016 at 9:18 am

    Yes!! I just tweeted this but bravo for getting this out there, Kate!!

    I’m a medical student so although it may seem like I know a lot (to those who weren’t crazy enough to go this route), I know that I am by no means an expert. Therefore, I keep my mouth shut. I really like your blog because it’s so educational (and I personally LOVE getting to know what other people face and how they handle it).

    I mean, there are times my friends will ask for a diagnosis but I ALWAYS remind them that they need to see their doctor, who IS an expert on their health. If it doesn’t seem like it’s an emergency I might ask more questions to narrow my “diagnosis”, but it’s moreso the practice of “thinking like a clinician” and I ALWAYS let them know that.

    It’s important for people to recognize the boundaries of their knowledge and to not overstep it. While you take unsolicited advice (which I totally agree can be off-putting) with a grain of salt, there are others that will trust nearly anything if a person presents it with enough confidence and bravado.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:49 pm

      Thank you! I do want to clarify, though, that I don’t take unsolicited advice with a grain of salt. I don’t listen to it at all. It isn’t just off-putting – it’s insulting and unnecessary, and often it upsets me, too. It’s especially upsetting when I’m making a point about one aspect of my health and someone comments and wants to give me advice. For example, I recently wrote about treating people with chronic pain like addicts if they’re on opioids. Someone commented on a link to it on social media asking if I’d tried medical marijuana. It seems like an innocent question, but it ignores the point I’m trying to make and my personal experiences. It may not seem like much, but it hits me rather hard.

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  2. Emily of Em Busy Living says

    March 4, 2016 at 10:47 am

    Good to you for this post. Unsolicited advice, over any topic, is always really frustrating. I think your fourth point can be used on a variety of topics, where the advice-giver always seems to make you feel like you must not be trying enough with whatever it is you’re doing. I hate that.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      Thank you!

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  3. Becca Dorr says

    March 4, 2016 at 11:00 am

    During infertility treatments, I got a lot of this, and some of the “advice” was completely ridiculous. Why wouldn’t I try EVERYTHING (minus some bogus methods) before resorting to IVF?

    The only medical advice I give out (usually to people I know fairly well) unsolicited is to drink water. Because as I understand it, the cause of most headaches and general “blah” feelings in healthy people is dehydration.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      Yes! Drinking lots of water is GREAT advice and if you’re going to give any out, that’s the best.

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  4. Brita Long says

    March 4, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Yes yes yes! I have Crohn’s Disease, and I wrote my own version of this post last year. I was diagnosed over 20 years ago. I know a LOT about IBD. And yet people keep trying to “cure” me with dietary changes. Um, I eliminated gluten and dairy from my diet 15 years ago, thanks, and it did diddly squat for my condition. Which if you knew me well enough to comment on my health, you would know that I did that.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      March 5, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      Yes! That’s the most frustrating.

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  1. 4 Questions To Ask Before Sending Medical Advice on the Internet – Chronically Something says:
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  2. So Someone Healthy Has Given You Health Advice | Health Lifestyle says:
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  3. A Guide to Chronic Illness for Those Who Don't Have One - Kate the (Almost) Great says:
    February 15, 2024 at 3:25 pm

    […] 4 Questions To Ask Before Sending Medical Advice on the Internet – One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sends me unsolicited medical advice online. Don’t! Do! It! I explain why it annoys me in this post, including as said in the title, 4 questions to ask yourself before you do this. […]

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SHARING YOUR HEALTH EXPERIENCES PUBLICLY⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ I sh SHARING YOUR HEALTH EXPERIENCES PUBLICLY⁣⁣⁣
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I share my personal health experiences online, which I find it somewhat easy to do because I've been talking publicly - albeit to a smaller audience - since my health problems started in 2001. ⁣⁣⁣
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If you share something online, you need to be prepared for people to ask questions or argue with you. Should they? No. Will that stop them? Also do. ⁣
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That's one of the reasons that talking online about what can be trauma is not easy or for everyone. That's why it's important to practice self-care and to consciously think about what you want to share online before you do it. ⁣⁣⁣
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For example, I generally only talk publicly about a health situation once it has passed, especially if it's an emergency. I also make sure that I'm in a good place mentally before I talk about it. That way, I don't share things I'll regret sharing publicly later. It also helps me be less anxious about sharing these details.⁣⁣⁣
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And I don't share everything! There's lot of stuff that I haven't talked about not only online but with people in real life. It might seem like I share everything I've experienced, but I don't. ⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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IDs: Kate works on a laptop offscreen. She's a redheaded white woman wearing a beige-and-navy striped sweater, silver Claddagh necklace, and pink glasses.⁣
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#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #ChronicPain #Endometriosis #SjogrensSyndrome
Week 18 of 2026 Weekly 1️⃣ Cross-stitch and IVIG Week 18 of 2026 Weekly 

1️⃣ Cross-stitch and IVIG 
2️⃣ Another trip to the foot doctor. We’re officially in Try To Avoid My 6th Foot Surgery mode 🤞🏻 
3️⃣ At least there were lilacs?

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.

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IDs: 
1️⃣ Looking down at Kate’s lap. Tubes are coming out of her shirt. She’s working on a cross stitch.
2️⃣ Kate takes a selfie in a doctor’s office. She’s wearing a lilac mask.
3️⃣ A lilac bush

#IVIG #CrossStitching #ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness
FAQ: Have I Tried Yoga for My Pain? This is a se FAQ: Have I Tried Yoga for My Pain? 

This is a series where I answer questions I frequently get about my rheumatoid arthritis. I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice - just saying the truth about my body in particular. 

Video: Kate speaks to camera. There are captions. A black text box reads “FAQ: Have I Tried Yoga for My Pain?” 

#RheumatoidArthritis #AutoimmuneArthritis #Arthritis #ArthritisAwarenessMonth
May is Arthritis Awareness Month, which is the per May is Arthritis Awareness Month, which is the perfect time to remind people of these facts. Here's today's fact.⁣
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Like, comment, and share to spread awareness 💖⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: Fact or Fiction? Let's Check! ⁣
Fiction⁣
Arthritis only affects people as they age.⁣
Fact⁣
Arthritis can affect anyone at any age, including kids as young as 3.⁣
katethealmostgreat⁣
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#ArthritisAwareness #Arthritis #RheumatoidDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #ArthritisAwarenessMonth
I’ve been on IVIG since September. So what does su I’ve been on IVIG since September. So what does success look like? ⁣
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*This is all just for me and my case!*⁣
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1️⃣ I haven't gotten sick at all since I started, not even a cold. ⁣
2️⃣ My lungs are clear of any ground glass opacities, which was what pushed us over to finally doing IVIG regularly. ⁣
3️⃣ We feel better about saying that I don't have any infections. Because symptoms are often signs of the body fighting an infection, we couldn't always trust that I wasn't sick because I didn't have symptoms. ⁣
4️⃣ Because of all of this, we're increasing my next Rituxan dose! This will mean better RA symptoms and hopefully no new illnesses for a few years.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: A bunch of IVIG supplies, including a pump. ⁣
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#ChronicallyIll #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #AutoimmuneDisease #Autoimmune
Week 17 of 2026 Weekly 1️⃣ Making some real progr Week 17 of 2026 Weekly

1️⃣ Making some real progress with this cross stitch
2️⃣ Walking casts have multiple uses, including holding down your mat! (Don’t worry - I only did broken-foot-compatible things) 

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.

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IDs:
1️⃣ An in-progress cross stitch. You can see that Kate stitched 2 bears.
3️⃣ A walking cast lies on a black yoga mat 

#CrossStitching #CrossStitcher #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoporosis #LoopsAndThreads
Can we talk about fatigue for a sec? ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ Fatigue Can we talk about fatigue for a sec? ⁣⁣⁣
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Fatigue is so much more than being tired. It's sleeping 10 hours at night and then struggling to stay awake during the day. It's trouble focusing because, even though you just had 3 cups of coffee, you're thinking about sleep. It's needing to factor rest in during the day because you have plans at night. ⁣⁣⁣
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It's a lot. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
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It's no secret that I have multiple chronic illnesses. But did you know that all of them - all 11+ of them - have fatigue as a symptom? Sometimes the fatigue is worse than the pain and, uh, I live with a lot of pain.⁣⁣
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This picture was taken when I was super anemic and waiting for 4 iron infusions. Now, months later, I can see it. And I also don't know how I got through the months of that anemia. ⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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ID: Kate takes a selfie. She's a redheaded white woman wearing a gray sweater and pink glasses.⁣
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#ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #POTS
Week 16 of 2026 This week had EVERYTHING 1️⃣ Cr Week 16 of 2026 

This week had EVERYTHING

1️⃣ Cross-stitch during virtual mass 
2️⃣ Tuesday featured a 90-minute meeting during work and then an hour advocacy work call after my day job (both were good!)
3️⃣ Wednesday started at my foot doctor’s office and I left in a walking boot. Hopefully these 3 fractured bones will heal correctly this time 🤞🏻
4️⃣ Thursday started back at MGH for my annual neurology appointment + foot CT scan
5️⃣ Then I went up to Maine … 
6️⃣ to celebrate my grandma’s 85th birthday! 

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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣.

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IDs: 
1️⃣ In the foreground is an in-progress cross-stitch piece. The background shows an open laptop streaming Catholic mass.
2️⃣ Kate takes a selfie. She’s a white woman with auburn hair and green glasses.
3️⃣ Kate takes a selfie in a doctor’s office. 
4️⃣ Kate takes a selfie in a car.
5️⃣ Kate takes a selfie snuggling with a golden retriever.
6️⃣ Kate and her cousins stand with their grandmother in front of a sign saying "Happy Birthday." 

#CrossStitch #ChronicPain #ChronicallyIll #InvisibleIllness
My face comes with subtitles, so .. ⁣ ⁣ ⬛⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ I My face comes with subtitles, so .. ⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 10+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣.⁣
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ID: Kate drinks coffee giving side eye. White text box reads "My Face When Someone Says 'You Shouldn't Need a Cane At Your Age'" ⁣
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#ChronicPain #ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Fibromyalgia
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