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in Health · January 14, 2016

Accepting Your Body with Chronic Illness

Interestingly, today’s blog post topic was decided on weeks ago. I say “interestingly” because Tuesday was the worst pain day that I’ve had since I had knee surgery, and Wednesday was the after effect of Tuesday. No hyperbole; that’s the truth. So how can I accept this body that’s trying to destroy itself – quite literally – and not hate it while living with chronic illness? How can I accept the excruciating pain that comes with that body?

In 2022, an updated version of this post was posted. Read it here: 6 Tips for How to Accept Your Chronic Illness

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Living with Chronic Illness

What Do I Mean By Accepting It?

First of all, I do not mean that I believe that there is nothing I can do for my body. Not at all. I believe that I should fight for finding a treatment that works, that I should everything I can to feel better, that I should treat my body well. However, I believe that living with chronic illness – in my case living with an autoimmune disease where my body attacks itself – doesn’t mean that I should not love my body or that I should hate it. I accept that this is what’s going on. And besides, as of right now there’s no cure, so it doesn’t make sense to reject the reality of my body.

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Why Should I Accept My Body?

Because everyone deserves to love themselves. Everyone is worthy of that, including you. Accept that your body is sick, and accept that just because you are sick does not mean that you are not worthy of love, especially from yourself. You deserve it. You really do.

But even more than that, I want to pour my limited energy into productive means. I would rather spend my time researching treatments, anti-inflammatory foods, the best exercise for people with arthritis, etc. than by being angry at my body for not working correctly. We’re not sure exactly why I developed inflammatory arthritis, but there’s no way to erase it, so there’s no point in spend a large amount of time angry with my body. If I only have a certain number of “spoons” per day, I would rather spend them in physical therapy than by hating my body.

Now, if you don’t have an official diagnosis yet – or at least one that you think fits your symptoms – I would advise accepting the things you can’t change but also fighting tooth and nail to find a doctor who takes you seriously and helps you find your correct diagnosis. Accept that maybe you can’t change certain things with a diagnosis or medication because you deserve it.

How Can I Accept My Body?

First of all, identify what you are mad at – because you are 100% allowed to feel mad about your chronic illness. Be mad at the disease itself, psoriatic arthritis in my case. But don’t blame your body as a whole. The way I explain it, my immune system is broken. It thinks that my joints are an invading army like bacteria, and so my immune system attacks my joints. I hate this disease, I really do, but I don’t hate my joints. Occasionally, I do hate my body. But I try to save that for the bad days.

So how can you accept your body while living with chronic illness? Identify the specific issues and what’s causing them and be mad at those if you have to be mad at something. Also, treat your body right, and treat yourself. Your life is hard enough; you deserve nice things when you can. Loving your body regardless of how you feel is important. You deserve love, especially from yourself.

Read more in the 2022 version of this post.

Like this post? Check out:

How To Talk about Your Chronic Illness, Relationships and Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness as a Grad Student, On Living with Chronic Pain

Kate Mitchell

Kate Mitchell is a blogger, chronic illness patient, and advocate who helps people understand chronic illness and helps chronic illness patients live their best lives.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Chelsea W says

    January 14, 2016 at 10:39 am

    Still trying to accomplish this after suffering from a chronic illness for years. I do think you’ve touched on a good point–it’s still okay to hate the disease but love your body at the same time. I can get mad at my disease for making me feel ____, but that doesn’t mean I have to be mad at my body for it since that’s what I’m fighting to take care of and heal!

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      January 14, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      Yes! Love and take care of yourself while still fighting the disease.

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      • Miriam says

        June 25, 2023 at 11:23 pm

        It’s very hard. CVID, Ankylosing Spondylitis, constipation, hypothyroid. But, all of this is nothing compared to my sister who is in the final stages of Lewy Body Dementia.

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  2. Lily Seymour says

    January 14, 2016 at 3:29 pm

    It was painful reading this because I know you’re quite young. I”m 56 and I decided that I wasn’t going to live with back pain, I joined a gym and hired their trainer, learned how to lift weights correctly to build muscle to support my bones, now I am pain free. Do some research on how building muscle makes the bones stronger and don’t settle on living with pain.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      January 14, 2016 at 3:45 pm

      Hi Lily, I understand you mean well, but you seem to have missed the crucial point here: I have psoriatic arthritis, an autoimmune disease where my immune system attacks my joints. I have a severe case of it where there is inflammation and some permanent joint damage in 56 joints, so there are a few things about me and what I am speaking about here that you should know. First, this post is not about me trying to convince people to not fight to feel better. Second, because I have an autoimmune disease, building muscle to support my bones will not make me pain free. Yes, I exercise in ways that are approved by multiple physical therapists and doctors. Yes, I have muscle. No, that has not improved my pain. No, that will never prevent me from future pain. Exercise and building muscle may help some arthritis patients. Hell, it may dramatically improve them. But we caught my case approximately 9 years too late. I’m not sure how you found my blog, but you must not be a regular reader or else you would not be telling me that I’m settling for living in pain. Please read this post on things that upset people with chronic illness: https://katethealmostgreat.com/how-to-help-someone-who-has-a-chronic-illness/. Please read my health story: https://katethealmostgreat.com/year-14-of-pain/. If you have any questions that do not imply that I’m not doing enough to help myself and it is my fault that I still live with pain, let me know.

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  3. Ashley says

    January 14, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    Reading your blog makes me feel a little less hopeless and crazy. Some people just assume I’m being dramatic and I can just get over it…no. I WISH that’s how it works and it was that easy. Thank you for being so honest. You’re an inspiration to keep fighting against what is fighting us instead of fighting against ourselves.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      February 1, 2016 at 11:06 am

      You are so welcome! I’m so glad that I can help in some way. It can definitely be hard thinking that you’re crazy. It’s not that easy! I hope that by being open and upfront about my experiences, I can help other people realize what others are dealing with. Keep fighting!

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  4. Katy says

    January 18, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    So glad I just stumbled upon your blog today. I’ve suffered from chronic joint pain due to joint space narrowing and muscle, ligament, and tendon tightness for a little over two years now (diagnosed sometime in early November 2013). Because everyone else I know that has chronic joint pain is older (40s, 50s, and 60s) it’s so comforting to know that there are other younger people going through a similar struggle.

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    • Kate Mitchell says

      February 1, 2016 at 11:08 am

      There are so many younger people living with chronic pain (unfortunately). The hard thing is that most of us either don’t talk about it or are kind of stuck away from the world. With social media and the Internet in general, hopefully that will change. For now, though, just know that you are not alone. There’s a great Twitter community, too! Try checking out the hashtags for chronicpain, rheum, chroniclife, spoonie, etc. and you’ll find plenty of vocal people like us.

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      • Meia_Ti says

        February 4, 2016 at 3:40 am

        on Tumblr too 🙂

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  5. Brandi Clevinger says

    March 24, 2016 at 10:31 am

    I strongly believe that accepting your body and illness is the first step in recovery. You put this so blatantly clear, yet gently firm. I’d like to share this at tomorrow’s Chronic Friday Linkup. If it’s not okay to share, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the linkup.

    Thank you for an encouraging, positive post! I’m also sharing this on my group board, Chronic Illness at http://www.pinterest.com/beingfibromom/chronic-illness-group-board/

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  6. Brittany says

    April 19, 2016 at 11:47 pm

    Hi Kate, I just came across your post via Pinterest when I searched “chronic illness”. I have hypothyroidism, but this year despite my efforts my body is rebelling in a way as I can describe as chronic illness. I’ve visiting a new doctor now and being tested for many things in search for an official diagnosis. I have been very angry at my body. It’s depressing seeing photographs of myself when I was healthy before and had dreams that I could chase without the fear of my body exhausting itself to the point of being so fatigued, trembly, and achy. I’m discovering new dreams now– #1 fighting for my body– but I mourn the person I thought I would be. It’s also frustrating having this invisible illness that the people around me can’t understand. What I despise hearing most from well-meaning people is “It must be depression or anxiety driven.”

    In the end I know I’ll be okay, but it’s hard on my worst days to feel worthy. My favorite quote you wrote: “…everyone deserves to love themselves. Everyone is worthy of that,
    including you. Accept that your body is sick, and accept that just because you are sick does not mean that you are not worthy of love, especially from yourself. You deserve it. You really do.”

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  7. jenny says

    June 28, 2016 at 9:17 am

    I also have psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia, and damage to my lower back, sacroiliac joints and hips, and my diagnosis didn’t happen until I was nearly 40. I do understand your pain, the emotional fatigue that goes with it, and the will to fight for a better tomorrow. Looking back I can see pretty clearly how much of my life has been stolen by this disorder, but I am so grateful to have a name for it, something to call it on those really uncomfortable days, and also the reason why I have to be vigilant about caring for myself. I can’t say that I love my body, but I do respect it a great deal and I do my best to care for it, broken bits and everything. I want to applaud you for facing this down while you are young, I wasted vital years thinking I was just a hypochondriac because nothing made sense. Keep fighting for a better tomorrow, your tomorrow self will thank you 🙂

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  8. Lisa Kallas says

    December 21, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Love this. I have fibro and CFS. Granted I am a loot older than you, 51 now, but accepting my limitations has been one of the hardest things for me. I was once a professional dancer, I had total control over my body and it was capable of beautiful and amazing things. To realize it now has control over me and unable sometimes to do basic things is difficult and frustrating and sad. But accept it I must if I am to move on with my life. Thanks for posting. http://www.sugarloafdream.com

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Having decades-long health problems sometimes mean Having decades-long health problems sometimes means coming across something in your health history that you completely forgot about⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate. Follow me for more content for chronic illness patients and their loved ones!⁣
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Here are some ways I practice self care, aka talki Here are some ways I practice self care, aka talking care of myself AND who I am as a person separate from illness⁣
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5️⃣ And then I had to be a person again for an appointment!⁣
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On the one hand, you should always believe what pe On the one hand, you should always believe what people tell you about their bodies.⁣
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On the other hand, I’ve had so much ridiculous and unconnected health things happen that I do understand why people might not believe me.⁣
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Last week, I talked about how it surprised me how Last week, I talked about how it surprised me how systemic autoimmune arthritis can be. But something else that surprised me was how much pain can be caused by small things.⁣
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In this picture, I was getting ready to have an MRI on my knee. It has been bothering me a fair amount the last 6+ months, so I'm trying to do something about that. ⁣
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Unsurprisingly, some of the tissue is damaged, but it's not bad. What's probably causing it to bother me so much is a teeny tiny cyst. ⁣
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Baker's cysts are a type of cyst in the knee that are generally caused by arthritis. But having a cyst in my knee means that it's causing pressure on that damaged tissue. ⁣
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🌸 Week 16 of #2025Weekly 🌸 ⁣ ⁣ 1️⃣ S 🌸 Week 16 of #2025Weekly 🌸 ⁣
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2️⃣ … Which means I am overheating! ⁣
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3️⃣ A picture of the New York City skyline behind a bridge.⁣
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#AlmostGreatHealth #AlmostGreatLife #ChronicallyIll #RheumatoidArthritis #SpoonieLife #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #Arthritis #RheumatoidDisease #Dysautonomia #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #InvisibleIllness
If I met my newly diagnosed self for coffee ... ⁣
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I tell her how things would get worse before they got better. ⁣
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I'd tell her to stop eating gluten, dairy, corn, soy, and eggs immediately (although that would have been a lot harder in 2010, more than it even is now). ⁣
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I'd tell her that she still needs to keep advocating for herself. ⁣
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I'd tell her that having a diagnosis unfortunately doesn't mean everything automatically falls into place. ⁣
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I'd tell her that she'll develop many more illnesses but her quality of life will actually get significantly better. ⁣
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I'd tell her that she would eventually have to get her right foot fixed, although she does expect that.⁣
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I'd tell her that using a cane is not a sign of failure, but a tool to make life better.⁣
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(I did a sort of tongue-in-cheek post about this a while ago and thought I'd post a more serious one).⁣
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⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate. Follow me for more content for chronic illness patients and their loved ones!⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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ID: Kate poses for the camera holding a mug with the letter M on it. Kate is a brunette white woman wearing a blue sweater and round tortoiseshell glasses. A white text box reads "If I met my newly diagnosed self for coffee ...". ⁣
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#AlmostGreatHealth #RheumatoidArthritis #RheumatoidDisease #ChronicallyIll #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease #AutoimmuneArthritis #Rheum #InvisibleIllness #Arthritis #ButYouDontLookSick #ArthritisWarrior #CureArthritis
The thing that surprised me the most about autoimm The thing that surprised me the most about autoimmune arthritis is how systemic it is. ⁣
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Like with most things, it's one thing to know the fact and it's something else to experience it. ⁣
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Yes, my joints are affected (a lot). ⁣
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But I've had enough serious infections thats I have to see an immunologist because we need to be aware of my antibodies and I sometimes need help recovering from illnesses. ⁣
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And, yes, I see pulmonology because of my asthma, but we also have to keep an eye out on developing rheumatoid nodules in my lungs. (So far so good!)⁣
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Not to mention that, when I developed POTS, the hospital admitted me to run every heart test to make sure that, at 26, I wasn't experiencing heart failure. ⁣
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Plus, when I developed endometriosis, I also went through a number of GI tests because one theory was that I had ulcerative colitis. ⁣
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Anyway, RA is so much more than "just" joints. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have to kill my immune system every 3 months like I am in this picture.⁣
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I’m Kate, a chronic illness patient and advocate sharing what my life is like with 7+ chronic illnesses. Follow me for more and check out my blog at katethealmostgreat.com⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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ID: Kate takes a selfie in an infusion chair. She is a brunette white woman wearing a Boston Red Sox shirt, blue mask, and round tortoiseshell glasses.⁣⁣
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#AlmostGreatHealth #RheumatoidArthritis #RheumatoidDisease #Rheum #Autoimmune #AutoimmuneDisease #InvisibleIllness #ButYouDontLookSick #Sjogrens #SjogrensSyndrome #POTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Dysautonomia
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