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in Health · January 14, 2016

Accepting Your Body with Chronic Illness

Interestingly, today’s blog post topic was decided on weeks ago. I say “interestingly” because Tuesday was the worst pain day that I’ve had since I had knee surgery, and Wednesday was the after effect of Tuesday. No hyperbole; that’s the truth. So how can I accept this body that’s trying to destroy itself – quite literally – and not hate it while living with chronic illness? How can I accept the excruciating pain that comes with that body?

Living with Chronic Illness

What Do I Mean By Accepting It?

First of all, I do not mean that I believe that there is nothing I can do for my body. Not at all. I believe that I should fight for finding a treatment that works, that I should everything I can to feel better, that I should treat my body well. However, I believe that living with chronic illness – in my case living with an autoimmune disease where my body attacks itself – doesn’t mean that I should not love my body or that I should hate it. I accept that this is what’s going on. And besides, as of right now there’s no cure, so it doesn’t make sense to reject the reality of my body.

Why Should I Accept My Body?

Because everyone deserves to love themselves. Everyone is worthy of that, including you. Accept that your body is sick, and accept that just because you are sick does not mean that you are not worthy of love, especially from yourself. You deserve it. You really do.

But even more than that, I want to pour my limited energy into productive means. I would rather spend my time researching treatments, anti-inflammatory foods, the best exercise for people with arthritis, etc. than by being angry at my body for not working correctly. We’re not sure exactly why I developed inflammatory arthritis, but there’s no way to erase it, so there’s no point in spend a large amount of time angry with my body. If I only have a certain number of “spoons” per day, I would rather spend them in physical therapy than by hating my body.

Now, if you don’t have an official diagnosis yet – or at least one that you think fits your symptoms – I would advise accepting the things you can’t change but also fighting tooth and nail to find a doctor who takes you seriously and helps you find your correct diagnosis. Accept that maybe you can’t change certain things with a diagnosis or medication because you deserve it.

How Can I Accept My Body?

First of all, identify what you are mad at – because you are 100% allowed to feel mad about your chronic illness. Be mad at the disease itself, psoriatic arthritis in my case. But don’t blame your body as a whole. The way I explain it, my immune system is broken. It thinks that my joints are an invading army like bacteria, and so my immune system attacks my joints. I hate this disease, I really do, but I don’t hate my joints. Occasionally, I do hate my body. But I try to save that for the bad days.

So how can you accept your body while living with chronic illness? Identify the specific issues and what’s causing them and be mad at those if you have to be mad at something. Also, treat your body right, and treat yourself. Your life is hard enough; you deserve nice things when you can. Loving your body regardless of how you feel is important. You deserve love, especially from yourself.

Like this post? Check out:

How To Talk about Your Chronic Illness, Relationships and Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness as a Grad Student, On Living with Chronic Pain

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Comments

  1. Chelsea W says

    January 14, 2016 at 10:39 am

    Still trying to accomplish this after suffering from a chronic illness for years. I do think you’ve touched on a good point–it’s still okay to hate the disease but love your body at the same time. I can get mad at my disease for making me feel ____, but that doesn’t mean I have to be mad at my body for it since that’s what I’m fighting to take care of and heal!

    Reply
    • Kate Mitchell says

      January 14, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      Yes! Love and take care of yourself while still fighting the disease.

      Reply
  2. Lily Seymour says

    January 14, 2016 at 3:29 pm

    It was painful reading this because I know you’re quite young. I”m 56 and I decided that I wasn’t going to live with back pain, I joined a gym and hired their trainer, learned how to lift weights correctly to build muscle to support my bones, now I am pain free. Do some research on how building muscle makes the bones stronger and don’t settle on living with pain.

    Reply
    • Kate Mitchell says

      January 14, 2016 at 3:45 pm

      Hi Lily, I understand you mean well, but you seem to have missed the crucial point here: I have psoriatic arthritis, an autoimmune disease where my immune system attacks my joints. I have a severe case of it where there is inflammation and some permanent joint damage in 56 joints, so there are a few things about me and what I am speaking about here that you should know. First, this post is not about me trying to convince people to not fight to feel better. Second, because I have an autoimmune disease, building muscle to support my bones will not make me pain free. Yes, I exercise in ways that are approved by multiple physical therapists and doctors. Yes, I have muscle. No, that has not improved my pain. No, that will never prevent me from future pain. Exercise and building muscle may help some arthritis patients. Hell, it may dramatically improve them. But we caught my case approximately 9 years too late. I’m not sure how you found my blog, but you must not be a regular reader or else you would not be telling me that I’m settling for living in pain. Please read this post on things that upset people with chronic illness: http://katethealmostgreat.com/how-to-help-someone-who-has-a-chronic-illness/. Please read my health story: http://katethealmostgreat.com/year-14-of-pain/. If you have any questions that do not imply that I’m not doing enough to help myself and it is my fault that I still live with pain, let me know.

      Reply
  3. Ashley says

    January 14, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    Reading your blog makes me feel a little less hopeless and crazy. Some people just assume I’m being dramatic and I can just get over it…no. I WISH that’s how it works and it was that easy. Thank you for being so honest. You’re an inspiration to keep fighting against what is fighting us instead of fighting against ourselves.

    Reply
    • Kate Mitchell says

      February 1, 2016 at 11:06 am

      You are so welcome! I’m so glad that I can help in some way. It can definitely be hard thinking that you’re crazy. It’s not that easy! I hope that by being open and upfront about my experiences, I can help other people realize what others are dealing with. Keep fighting!

      Reply
  4. Katy says

    January 18, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    So glad I just stumbled upon your blog today. I’ve suffered from chronic joint pain due to joint space narrowing and muscle, ligament, and tendon tightness for a little over two years now (diagnosed sometime in early November 2013). Because everyone else I know that has chronic joint pain is older (40s, 50s, and 60s) it’s so comforting to know that there are other younger people going through a similar struggle.

    Reply
    • Kate Mitchell says

      February 1, 2016 at 11:08 am

      There are so many younger people living with chronic pain (unfortunately). The hard thing is that most of us either don’t talk about it or are kind of stuck away from the world. With social media and the Internet in general, hopefully that will change. For now, though, just know that you are not alone. There’s a great Twitter community, too! Try checking out the hashtags for chronicpain, rheum, chroniclife, spoonie, etc. and you’ll find plenty of vocal people like us.

      Reply
      • Meia_Ti says

        February 4, 2016 at 3:40 am

        on Tumblr too 🙂

        Reply
  5. Brandi Clevinger says

    March 24, 2016 at 10:31 am

    I strongly believe that accepting your body and illness is the first step in recovery. You put this so blatantly clear, yet gently firm. I’d like to share this at tomorrow’s Chronic Friday Linkup. If it’s not okay to share, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the linkup.

    Thank you for an encouraging, positive post! I’m also sharing this on my group board, Chronic Illness at https://www.pinterest.com/beingfibromom/chronic-illness-group-board/

    Reply
  6. Brittany says

    April 19, 2016 at 11:47 pm

    Hi Kate, I just came across your post via Pinterest when I searched “chronic illness”. I have hypothyroidism, but this year despite my efforts my body is rebelling in a way as I can describe as chronic illness. I’ve visiting a new doctor now and being tested for many things in search for an official diagnosis. I have been very angry at my body. It’s depressing seeing photographs of myself when I was healthy before and had dreams that I could chase without the fear of my body exhausting itself to the point of being so fatigued, trembly, and achy. I’m discovering new dreams now– #1 fighting for my body– but I mourn the person I thought I would be. It’s also frustrating having this invisible illness that the people around me can’t understand. What I despise hearing most from well-meaning people is “It must be depression or anxiety driven.”

    In the end I know I’ll be okay, but it’s hard on my worst days to feel worthy. My favorite quote you wrote: “…everyone deserves to love themselves. Everyone is worthy of that,
    including you. Accept that your body is sick, and accept that just because you are sick does not mean that you are not worthy of love, especially from yourself. You deserve it. You really do.”

    Reply
  7. jenny says

    June 28, 2016 at 9:17 am

    I also have psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia, and damage to my lower back, sacroiliac joints and hips, and my diagnosis didn’t happen until I was nearly 40. I do understand your pain, the emotional fatigue that goes with it, and the will to fight for a better tomorrow. Looking back I can see pretty clearly how much of my life has been stolen by this disorder, but I am so grateful to have a name for it, something to call it on those really uncomfortable days, and also the reason why I have to be vigilant about caring for myself. I can’t say that I love my body, but I do respect it a great deal and I do my best to care for it, broken bits and everything. I want to applaud you for facing this down while you are young, I wasted vital years thinking I was just a hypochondriac because nothing made sense. Keep fighting for a better tomorrow, your tomorrow self will thank you 🙂

    Reply
  8. Lisa Kallas says

    December 21, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Love this. I have fibro and CFS. Granted I am a loot older than you, 51 now, but accepting my limitations has been one of the hardest things for me. I was once a professional dancer, I had total control over my body and it was capable of beautiful and amazing things. To realize it now has control over me and unable sometimes to do basic things is difficult and frustrating and sad. But accept it I must if I am to move on with my life. Thanks for posting. http://www.sugarloafdream.com

    Reply

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There's a new blog post up today all about MEDIA K There's a new blog post up today all about MEDIA KITS! They are essential if you are a blogger or influencer who wants to make money from your work. Click the link in my bio to read or ➡ katethealmostgreat.com. ⁣
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PS - My ebook for chronic health bloggers includes a Canva media kit template! That's just 1 of 11 resources in it, and the ebook is just $10. You can also find that at the link in my bio. ⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣
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[Image: Kate sits at a desk working on a silver laptop. She's a brunette white woman and is wearing a pink tank dress and large brown glasses. In front of the camera, next to the laptop, is a blue-and-white coffee mug.]
💉 day! Grateful grateful grateful ◼️ [Im 💉 day! Grateful grateful grateful

◼️ 

[Image: Kate takes a selfie. She is a brunette white woman wearing a peach top, a mask, and round tortoiseshell glasses. She is sitting in a convention center holding a card that says “Thanks! For getting vaccinated.]
✨ VISIBLE SIGNS OF MY "INVISIBLE" DISABILITY ✨ ✨ VISIBLE SIGNS OF MY "INVISIBLE" DISABILITY ✨ ⁣
⁣
1️⃣ TENS unit clipped on my jeans to help my foot and ankle pain ⁣
2️⃣ Wearing sneakers because a) they're the only shoes I can really tolerate b) I have an indoors and an outdoors pair c) I have to wear sneakers/can't go barefoot for long because of my foot and ankle pain ⁣
3️⃣ Leaning on my closet door slightly because it's the only way I can really stay still for pictures ⁣
4️⃣ Wearing glasses because I can't wear contacts due to dry eyes, which is a side effect of many of my medications ⁣
5️⃣ Popsocket on my phone because I really can't keep a grasp on it due to my super arthritic hands ⁣
⁣
These are just some visible signs! Just because you don't see these things doesn't mean they aren't there if you look. Invisible disabilities aren't truly invisible. ⁣
⁣
➡ What are visible signs of your invisible disability? ⬅ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate stands in front of a mirror on the inside of her closet door, taking a selfie in the mirror., She's a brunette white woman wearing jeans, a blue-and-white top, and round tortoiseshell glasses. She has a TENS unit clipped to her jeans.]
Harley and Piper's new album, coming this fall 😂 ⁣
⁣
Comment below with what you think their album would be named if this was the album cover ⬇ ⁣
⁣
📸 @happydogsboston ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
[Image: 2 dogs but from the perspective of down on the ground looking up at them. The dogs are on a brick pathway in Boston and behind them are classic Boston brownstones, trees without leaves, and a cloudy sky. One dog is a red-and-white cavalier King Charles spaniel, and her ears are flying back in the wind. The other is a golden retriever.]
Even once you're done with school, you should neve Even once you're done with school, you should never stop learning. That doesn't mean that you have to take classes! Learning can look however you want. ⁣
⁣
You can take up a new hobby. ⁣
⁣
You can learn a new skill. ⁣
⁣
You can learn about the world by getting your news from different sources. ⁣
⁣
There are so many ways to learn, and one of the great things about not being in school anymore is that you can learn about whatever you want and whatever interests you. ⁣
⁣
What is something you've learned or learned about? ⁣
⁣
◾ ⁣
⁣
I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣
⁣
◾⁣
⁣
[Image: Kate sits in a gray chair, facing the camera. She's a brunette white woman wearing black pants, a white sweater, and round tortoiseshell glasses. She's holding an open book. Behind her on the walls are a couple of round mirrors.]
I've been missing rural Maine these days. While I I've been missing rural Maine these days. While I like being able to see people out and about in Boston, spending most of 2020 in rural Maine really reinforced how much my soul prefers country to the city. ⁣
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I don't know what to do about that short-term, but it is helpful to know that my long-term goal of moving back to Maine (or at least not living long-term in the city) is in fact something that I will love. ⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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[Image: Looking at a lake that has a rock-filled "beach" with rocks going out to a point. The other side of the lake is filled with trees.]
Put on a full face of makeup for a small Easter ce Put on a full face of makeup for a small Easter celebration today. This is your reminder that while it's nice to dress up and look nice, celebrating in small ways is just as good as celebrating in big ones. Also, Jesus doesn't want you to risk your health or the health of others to celebrate. ⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣
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[Image: Kate takes a selfie. She's a brunette white woman wearing a v-neck ribbed shirt, claddagh necklace, and round tortoiseshell glasses.] ⁣
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#bostonbloggers #bostonian #bostonblogger #proptoit #myunicornlife #makemoments #acolorstory #makeyousmilestyle #liveunscripted #howyouglow #mybeautifulmess #choosejoy #influencehercollective #howiseeit #inspiredwomen #documentyourdays #momentsofmine #myeverydaymagic #darlingdaily #todayslovely #seekmoments #momentslikethese #posttheordinary #thatauthenticfeeling #discoverunder5k #BossGirlBloggers #ChronicIllnessBlogger #bostonma
Like I said on Monday, this has been a busy week. Like I said on Monday, this has been a busy week. But I made it through the week! And you almost have, too. ⁣
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Earlier this week, I published a new blog post with tips for new health bloggers. There are 12 in total! And then today I published a new blog post that is an FAQ for POTS. I'm answering questions that I've gotten a lot in my personal life as well as in my advocate life!⁣
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Check these posts out by clicking the link in my bio or ➡ katethealmostgreat.com. ⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Check out my blog at the link in my bio or go to katethealmostgreat.com.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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[Image: Kate sits in a gray chair working on a silver laptop. She's a brunette white woman wearing a gray t-shirt, a lighter gray cardigan, and round tortoiseshell glasses. The t-shirt is mostly covered, but the text on it is CureArthritis.org.]
Piper and Harley want to make sure that you're tak Piper and Harley want to make sure that you're taking care of yourself. If you're not, they're not mad, they're disappointed. ⁣
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In all seriousness, if you're struggling right now, that's okay. We're a year into the pandemic life, and it is 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 some days. Piper and Harley want to give you hugs, but they know that they can't jump through Instagram to make that happen. But know that they want to! ⁣
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📸 @happydogsboston⁣
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I'm Kate, a chronic health blogger who blogs to help chronic illness patients and their loved ones. Follow me for more tips on living an awesome life with chronic illness! ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
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[Image: 2 dogs sit on a brick pathway. The one in front is a red-and-white cavalier King Charles spaniel. The one in the bag is a golden retriever.]
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